Catching up

Days until marathon: 35

5 weeks from today, I will be eating my pre-marathon breakfast getting ready to head to Hopkinton for the start of the 2010 Boston Marathon. It's really been a pretty quick ride overall. I hope the weather is better than it has been this weekend. The amount of rain that has fallen since Saturday is unbelievable! It's still pouring this morning, with a very gusty 40 mile an hour wind blowing. All of this rain should make for some green, green grass and lots of spring flowers. For some reason, the "Spring Forward" time change has had the opposite effect on me, and I am enjoying the peace and quiet of a dark house this morning.

With all that has been going on outside of training for the marathon, I've been somewhat negligent recently about updating my training so I thought I'd take a few minutes to do that. I've figured out that I have run about 500 miles since October in preparation for April 19, and while that number seems big, I still worry that it might not be enough! I've completed TWO 20-mile runs so far, so I have one more really long run to finish the weekend of March 27. The runs went pretty well. Pace was decent, and I was less sore after the second run than the first, which means the training is helping! I have been pretty good about continuing to go to yoga class each week, and staying on top of riding the bike, too. The running group I am a part of at the local Y has gone back to 2 days a week, and I feel like the winter training with the group has been incredibly beneficial. No major injuries to report. Only some off and on tightness in my right hip area. Stretch, stretch, stretch. I just bought my third pair of running shoes, and these will be the pair that make the 26.2 mile trek on Marathon Monday. Just plugging along, checking off the days and weeks of the training program.

As far as fundraising goes, my expectations for this year have been blown away, and continue to rise. So far, 94 different people have contributed $10,950 to Dana-Farber to fund cancer research. You all have asked me to honor and remember 118 people who have been diagnosed with cancer, and I will wear their names on my Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge singlet with pride on race day. Because of overwhelming generosity and support, I have decided to increase my overall goal to $14,610. That is $4 more than the money raised last year. In all honesty, I really didn't believe that it would be possible to top that. Because of all of you, we are getting close. And for every dollar raised, closer to a cure.

The past few weeks have been emotionally trying with anniversaries and birthdays and scans and doctors appointments. There is still yet another difficult day in that Molly's birthday is next week, but I am buoyed by the energy surrounding this endeavor. Mary had stable scans last week. The 80's party is set to roll on Friday night. I will see some of my family this week. The rain will end and the sun will shine. Winter is slowly ending it's hold, and spring is coming. I keep putting one foot in front of the other, literally and figuratively, and we get through today and onto tomorrow.

Many, many thanks for your support.

Be good. Be strong.

A Blessing for John

Today is my brother John's birthday. It is the first birthday since he died last May, and it's been a much harder day than I thought it would be. It's just all so real today, and we are all truly feeling his absence.

My Dad shared this blessing with us today in honor of John's birthday because so much of it reminded Dad of John. It's a beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul.

My wish for you
I wish you not a path devoid of clouds, nor a life on a bed of roses,
Not that you might never need regret,
nor that you should never feel pain.
No, that is not my wish for you.
My wish for you is:
That you might be brave in times of trial,
when others lay crosses upon your shoulders.
When mountains must be climbed and chasms are to be crossed,
When hope can scarce shine through.
That every gift God gave you might grow with you
and let you give your gift of joy to all who care for you.
That you may always have a friend who is worth that name,
whom you can trust and who helps you in times of sadness,
Who will defy the storms of daily life at your side.
One more wish I have for you:
That in every hour of joy and pain you may feel God close to you.
This is my wish for you and for all who care for you.
This is my hope for you now and forever.

-- anonymous Irish blessing

Be good. Be strong.

Feel the warmth!

It happened. That first day when you start to realize that the winter will, in fact, be coming to end! Yesterday, the temperature got up into the 50's. The sun was shining and the blue sky was clear. The neighbors came flowing out of the house. Bikes were ridden. Sticks and sand were swept from the streets. The roads were crowded with walkers and runners. Friends had lunch on their deck. Kids slept long and hard after a day of running outside and inhaling the fresh air. There were even some convertible tops down and a sunroof might have been opened. Some people had on shorts. Moods were a bit lighter. Smiles came a little easier. We appreciated it and soaked every minute of it up. It was our first sign that spring will be here, eventually. Probably not this week, or even this month. But it is close.

Days like today are my favorite part of winter....the reminder that it is almost over and that no matter how long it feels, spring follows winter every year! Don't pack up the winter gear yet, but get out there and enjoy it while we have it!

Get your 80's On

In a whirlwind of planning the last couple of weeks, some very lovely ladies and friends here in Marblehead have put together an 80's-themed party to help raise money for my run for the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge. The event is scheduled for March 19 at the Gerry 5 here in town for anyone that is interested in joining the fun. They'll be music, food, a cash bar, a bunch of great opportunity drawings, and prizes for the best 80's attire. Tickets are $30/person, $50/couple in advance, or $60/couple at the door. All of the proceeds will go directly to fund cancer research at Dana-Farber. With the help of the kindness of many local stores and vendors (of whom will be recognized once everything is final) and of these terrific friends, it will be meaningful and fun night . If you are interested in coming, please let me know and we'll get you the details! My email address is jfsheridan9@gmail.com

As this event has gotten rolling, and I've seen the generosity and kindness of so many people again, I have been reminded of one of the biggest lessons I have learned throughout the past year...the importance of community. Neither my husband and I are from this area, nor do we have any family within 900 miles. Picking a town to put down some roots in the Boston area was almost like throwing a dart at a map. There were factors such as schools or commute that played into the decision, but it mostly came down to what looked nice and what we could afford. We didn't know a single person when we moved to the Swampscott/Marblehead area 10 years ago, and we are lucky to say that we have been so overwhelmed and pleasantly surprised by the strength of the community in which we decided to live. People move around so often nowadays, and many people don't live near "home" anymore. If you are a "transplant" it becomes so important that your friends and neighbors and teachers and classmates and teammates become your extended family and your support when your family can't be there. And that you help take care of each other. We've been the beneficiaries of this support as we navigated through the past couple of years, and are so thankful that we landed where we did 10 years ago.

This event that has been planned is a prime example of the strength of this community. Without a second thought, these women, who I first met because our children have gone to school together, got this ball rolling because they just wanted to help. To do something to make this fundraising effort a success this year. When I decided to run the marathon last year, I set my goal at $7500 and I thought that might be a long shot. Asking people to donate isn't easy, so I only approached people I knew well. It turns out that many of those kind people then asked others to contribute, who asked others, and so on. When it was all said and done, the total amount raised last year was just over $14,000. It was unbelievable. And this year, not only have people been sharing the story of this run, but these great people have planned an event to help raise even more money for this cause that is so important to me and my family. I am so appreciative of the generosity that has been shown in support of this endeavor the past couple of years, and really looking forward to March 19. This benefit party is such a great opportunity for our friends and neighbors and families to get together to have a great time, and to appreciate this community that has been so kind to us. I hope you can join us!

Many thanks to Kate McSherry, Kim Malary, Liz Scroope, Kathy Doody, Allison Burke, Dana Rieckelman, Heidi Clough, Lynn Brennan, and Jen Finnigan for putting this all together. Ya'll are good people!!

Anniversary

an·ni·ver·sa·ry

1.the yearly recurrence of the date of a past event

2.the celebration or commemoration of such a date

Anniversaries mark the "big" days, the important events, the life-changing moments in our lives. Tomorrow marks two years since my sister, Molly, died as a result of a brain tumor at the age of 36. While this isn't the kind of anniversary that I consider a celebration, it is certainly one that has changed my life. There is a big empty space in the world without her here that can not, nor will not, be filled. Her life and presence was incomparable, as was the manner in which she chose to live.

Knowing Molly and being her sister has been a gift in my life. It is the reason why I feel this anniversary shouldn't pass each year without recognizing it in some way. My sister had a very easy, open way about her. It was evident from the outset when you saw the smile she shared so openly and naturally. She was exemplified kindness. Molly was authentic and true, and believed that no one should be anything more than themselves. She encouraged us all, especially her kids, to take risks and to have fun and to play hard and well. She didn't live by the clock. Molly always tried to see the bright side, the good side, the fun side. And she wore red cowboy boots. Sitting here and re-reading these qualities that I attribute to her, I see that these are the things I admire the most. The qualities that aren't as natural to me....the ones I have to work a little harder on. Trying to emulate these qualities is how I hope I can honor her life, and keep a piece of her alive every day. To commemorate this so-called anniversary.

Cheers to you, Molly. I miss you every day.

Seriously?

As if there needed to be another reason to run this marathon. This week, my husband's first cousin was diagnosed with what they believe to be lymphoma. What they know is that it is cancer. He is undergoing tests this week and next to find out what type. He's 6 years younger than we are (in his early 30s) and is married with two very young children. What was believed to be chronic sinus infections has turned out to be cancer. Last week at this time, he was going about his life as usual. Probably waiting for a prescription for antibiotics or some simple fix to a nagging illness. Now his vocabulary includes words like biopsy, chemotherapy, treatment plan, stage, CT, and bone marrow. And those are the easy words to pronounce. In the span of one short week, the world has become a different place. Really, the change comes down to a matter of moments. Before diagnosis and after. Then you have your new "normal."

Getting out for training runs this week has been an easy choice. Runners are often encouraged to have a mantra or a phrase that they can repeat while they are running, often during times when you'd like to pack it in and walk off. Mine has been "you don't get to quit" which I chant in my head over and over, especially while going up hills. It is reminder that running is a choice. Getting treatment for cancer isn't a choice. You really don't have the option to quit. My sister, Mary, is tolerating a treatment right now that is terribly painful and exhausting. She takes this medication every single day, and she doesn't get to quit. My husband's cousin....he doesn't get to quit either. My brother, John, and sister, Molly. They never quit. Ever. This is what I think about at mile 16. And 20. And 26. And sometimes even at mile 3.

I run because I don't want to hear about any more reasons to run.

Choices

“Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can't prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you're presented with and moving on. No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something. You always have a choice and the choice can be power.” ~Blaine Lee

Since the fall, I've been trying to make it to a yoga class once a week. I started going to one here in town on Monday mornings that I really like and really benefit from. I feel like it helps me start the week on a calm and energized note. I can clear my head from the weekend, and start anew each week. Our teacher usually begins each class with an inspirational quote, and the one above from Blaine Lee was the one he read to us this morning. I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. I just feel like it rings true to my life. I guess it's true to anyone's life. We always have a choice. I choose power. I choose fighting back. I choose not giving up and not giving in. I choose to do something.

Training update:
Monday: yoga
Tuesday: Running group (hill repeats and circuit training)
Wednesday: Bike
Thursday: 16 miles (got my long run in before the temps dropped to single digits....brrr)!
Friday: Rest
Saturday: Bike
Sunday: 6.25 miles on treadmill (less than planned but had a hard time settling in)