Be good.Be strong.

Forward progress

2012-01-18T12:40:00.002-05:00

As we get into the thick of the marathon season, there are a few new things I am trying to do to connect the "running" and the "why" parts of the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge. There are hundreds of marathons run each year in this country, but I find the Boston Marathon to be a unique and uplifting experience because it involves being a part of the Dana-Farber team. I started this blog for a few reasons, but a big reason was that I wanted this experience to become important and meaningful for all of you because the depth and breadth by which cancer has affected all of us is bigger than many of us realize.

I have in past years asked you all to share the names of your friends and family members with cancer. I'd like to go a little beyond just names this year, and share on the blog and on the facebook page more....a picture and some information. I think it's important to understand how very real this is to many, many people. I hope maybe it will provide some support, some community, some clarity, some strength. If you are comfortable and willing, please email me at begoodbestrong@gmail.com and let me know who you would like to recognize....share a picture, a story, how it has affected you. In addition to sharing those stories, I'll will again be starting an In Memory/In Honor/In Support section on both pages, and will wear all of the names on my race day shirt.

I was also hoping to get a few guest bloggers to write some entries on here....what's your connection, why is the Barr Program and Dana-Farber important to you, what does "be good, be strong" mean, etc. What's your perspective as a friend, family member, random reader, teammate? Would love to be able to offer a broader view. Think about it and let me know (begoodbestrong@gmail.com)!

Fundraising progress

Another thing I am doing is posting a map using the Boston Marathon course to show how the fundraising is going. For every $763 raised, we'll move along the marathon course one mile with plans to reach 26.2 miles and $20,000 by April 16, 2012. Currently, 46 people have made gifts to total $6,675. Thanks so very much to those who have supported the DFMC so far this season. This is truly an effort of many, many people coming together to reach a goal....taking part in whatever way we each can. We're off to an amazing start and are at the 8.75 mile point on the course, and I am excited and anxious to keep moving forward down the road one mile at a time.

I've been using the Daily Mile website (www.dailymile.com) to track my training this year. The bigger, better part of just having a place to write down your workout is that there is a community of teammates and friends who provides support and motivation and where you can share your training, ask questions, commiserate, etc. I'd encourage any of you who are runners, exercisers, athletes, or just starting out on a fitness path to sign up. It tracks running, swimming, biking, yoga, cross-training...many options to fit your plans. Please "friend" me since it is a social network of sorts in addition to a great place to monitor your activity. It also adds some level of accountability, which I personally really need, and is proven to be helpful for anyone trying to keep up with or maintain any sort of fitness program or training plan...accountability AND support. Since I am formally tracking my miles, I am also setting a goal to try to run 1200 miles in 2012. There is is. Written down. Yikes. So, sign up and find me on Daily Mile!

Training update:

12/30: 4 miles
12/31: 8.4 miles

1/3: 4.4 miles (4x800 meter repeats)
1/4: Stationary bike, 40 minutes
1/5: 8.4 miles, easy pace
1/6: Stationary bike, 40 minutes
1/7: 3.6 miles
1/8: 13.4 miles, long run with DFMC team

1/9: Yoga, 45 minutes
1/10: 4.75 miles (1200, 1000, 800, 600, 400 meters speed work)
1/11: Stationary bike and strength training
1/12: 3 miles, treadmill
1/13: 14.1 miles, long run

1/17: 4 miles, treadmill
1/18: 6 miles treadmill

Be good. Be Strong.

Miles to go

2012-01-10T17:52:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I start rolling along and things seem to be pretty constant without too many pace changes. Certainly not following a straight and flat road, but riding along at a steady speed. We made it through the holidays with someemotional ups and downs, but mostly happy and unscathed. Kids are back to school. Marathon training is moving forward as itshould. I am taking some steps to dosome things I’ve been thinking about for a while. I’m thrilled with the supportthat has been shown to DFMC so far. Ithasn’t snowed more than a dusting. Nothing too crazy, either good or bad. Just life.

And then I get knocked down. Yesterday, my attention was once again primarily focused on theimportance of this marathon endeavor. Afriend that lives in town sent me a message asking me to recognize her husbandthis year as he was getting ready to start his second round of chemotherapyafter having been in remission for 3 months. What?!? I didn’t even know he hadbeen diagnosed and was so surprised to read her message. It guess it was so unexpected because thistown we live in feels like it can close in around you quickly with how small itfeels and the speed at which “news” travels, yet I can go months or yearswithout seeing someone that lives within the few square miles we call home. We met when our kids were pretty much babies. Once they got to school age and were in different schools, our paths didn't cross as often although we would catch up on the soccer field or in line for ice cream in the summer. Clearly, it had been too long. I wanted to know that they were okay, and ifthey needed anything, and if there was anything that could be done to help themout. How was he doing? How were the kids? How was she? I have learned the importance of acommunity giving a helping hand, and I hope that many hands had lent if that was what they needed or wanted. And I totally understandif it was what they didn't want, too, because sometimes moving forward at your own pace, with your ownrules, is what you need. Eitherway, I have been thinking about their family all day, and hoping that he getsthrough this next round in good health and good spirits. And that the rest of the family does the same.

We also heard yesterday about a woman (although I am moreinclined to call her a girl, as I do most people my age) who went to collegewith my husband and me. She also grew upin my husband’s hometown and they knew each other in high school and share manyfriends. After a year of battling breastcancer, she passed away yesterday at her home. She, too, has 2 young children and the reality of this all is that justisn’t fair. She was a girl. Still a young adult and too young for this. I did not know her well, butdo know all too well what the next few days and weeks and years hold for herfamily and friends. It makes me sad.It’s devastating. And it isn’t fair.

So I am running. Andrunning and running. Running away fromthe stress and sadness. Running towards healthand healing and relief. Towards a cure.

If you are able, please consider a donation. Everydollar helps. Every cent goes to fundresearch at one of the top cancer centers in this country. If the time is not right for a monetary gift,please consider giving of your time by volunteering. We’ve got miles to go, and we can make adifference together.

www.runDFMC.org/2012/jennies

Be good. Be strong.

New Year, New DFMC Challenge

2012-01-04T20:37:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! I hope this January finds you happy and well, and ready tochallenge the New Year. For me, thebeginning of the year brings about the excitement and mission of training forthe 2012 Boston Marathon in an effort to raise funds for the Dana-Farber CancerInstitute. I will be running again as amember of the Dana-Farber MarathonChallenge (DFMC) team, and I would be grateful for your support of this respectedand meaningful cause.

Running the marathon for the DFMC to raise valuable funds forinnovative cancer treatment is an incredibly personal and important experience. I take these steps to honor my sisters and brother,Molly, Mary and John, who devastatingly lost their lives to cancer as young adults. The DFMC allows me the opportunity to paytribute to their memories, their lives, their strength, their will, and the beautythey brought to the world, while simultaneously helping to better the future ofall cancer patients by raising funds for the Barr Program at the Dana-FarberCancer Institute. And to be honest, the entire experience helps me do somehealing, too. It is unfathomable to me thatmy siblings are not here with us today, and their very absence is what propelsto me to continue. Molly, Mary and John believedin fighting the good fight and they never gave up on themselves and theirfamily, nor did they stop doing their part to improve the future of cancerpatients. I will not give up on them,and am committed to doing what I can to assist in finding new treatments andeventually a cure.

Every cent of your gift – a full 100 percent- goes directly to funding research through the Claudia Barr Program in Innovative BasicCancer Research at Dana-Farber, widely recognized as one of the mostsuccessful programs of its kind. Basedon a rigorous and highly selective process, the Barr Program funds thebrightest scientists making basic research discoveries that are transformingcancer treatment. These breakthroughsare resulting in improved survival rates and quality of life for thousands ofpatients everywhere. Many of you havebeen ongoing supporters of my participation in the marathon for the past 3years, and it is because of your unfailing generosity that I am able to once againtake part.

We unfortunately, yet surely, live in a world where 1 in 2men and 1 in 3 women will receive a cancer diagnosis in their lifetime, sotaking steps now to help find a cure will be beneficial to us all in thefuture. Suffice it to say, there aremany, many others who I also run to recognize including my aunts andgrandmothers, my mother-in-law, my husband’s aunt, many friends and their lovedones. I run for daughters, brothers,cousins, wives, and fathers. I run forour kids and for our future. Please letme know if there is someone you would like me to recognize and I would beprivileged to honor them during the marathon.

Making an online gift is easy. Just visit www.runDFMC.org/2012/jennies andfollow the link to make a gift. You canalso send a check made out to the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge to me at home (let me know if you need the address). Thank you in advance for your kindness andsupport. I can’t imagine not taking these steps in tribute toMolly, Mary and John, and it would not be possible without your generosity. Please know how much this means to me and myfamily. With your help, we are trulymaking a difference. A cancer diagnosiscan change your world. We, together, canchange how cancer affects our world.

Be good. Be Strong.

Kindly,

Jennie Firth Sheridan

Mileage count

2011-12-29T13:57:00.000-05:00

I'd like to say the holiday season, school vacation, and a little bit of laziness hasn't thrown off my intended schedule, but it's not the case. I haven't been too far off the running, but the cross training has been sorely lacking. Next week. Promise.

Week 1
12/13    4.1 mile run, 33:24
12/14    1 hour, stationary bike/light strength
12/15    6 mile run, 48:25
12/17    11 mile run, 1:32:33

Week 2
12/19    3 mile run, 24:10
12/21    5 mile run, 42:04
12/24    3.45 mile run, 27:48

Week 3
12/26   11.5 mile run, 1:36:08 (last week's planned long run)
12/28   5.1 mile run, 42:36

Only one day of cross training. One short strength training session. No yoga. Must be better about those three things or getting to the starting line feeling well without injuries is not likely. I can feel a difference when I don't include it in my week. My intention is to cross train at least twice (bike or swim) and do yoga at least twice a week. I also intend on drinking more water, taking a vitamin, and not eating pounds of cookies and candy. Gonna be better. Got to be better. Hold me to it!!

Be good. Be strong.

Going bigtime.

2011-12-16T06:24:00.001-05:00

Katy, my sister, and I have created a new Facebook page for Be Good Be Strong which, like this blog, will be dedicated to raising awareness and funds to improve the lives of cancer patients and their families.

Check out our new PAGE and give us a "like" to keep up with our campaign!

Bigtime? Probably not yet....but bigger!

Be good. Be Strong.

It's now.

2011-12-14T17:58:00.002-05:00

"The Hopis consider running a form of prayer; they offer every step as a sacrifice to a loved one and in return ask the Great Spirit to match their strength with some of His own." -Christopher MacDougall, author of Born to Run

And it begins again. 18 weeks of raising funds. 18 weeks of training. 18 weeks of getting closer to a cure by raising at least $20,000 for cancer research.   18 weeks of many, many steps offered in honor of Molly, Mary, and John.

Monday was Day 1 of the training plan for the 2012 Boston Marathon. I love having a plan. A plan means motivation and direction. It means checking off the days and the workouts and know that the training will prepare me to run 26.2 miles in April.   I like the feeling of completing longer and longer runs, in turn feeling stronger (and sometimes even a little faster). Putting together a schedule forces me to think about my personal goals and what I hope to acheive: for the marathon, for raising money for cancer research at Dana-Farber, for my own personal well-being through running.

I also feel a stronger sense of purpose when the time for kicking off my fundraising for Dana-Farber begins. Over the past couple of years, given the circumstances that have surrounded my family, I've become more and more committed to helping to find a cure for cancer. This time of year is when I get to jump in and do what I can to advance the research.   I've again set my goal at $20,000 but hope to exceed that goal. The network of people who have supported this cause and our family has grown tremendously over the past couple of years, and it is because of this generous network that I can continue these efforts. I am planning some ways to honor and remember your family and friends who have been affected by cancer, and to help spread the "Be good. Be strong." mantra that has become the rallying cry of these efforts. Stayed tuned for details on that....coming soon!

While the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge website keeps me accountable in terms of reaching my fundraising goals, I am also going to making an effort to be accountable in my running. I am going to (try to) post my weekly workouts so if (and likely when) I feel like slacking, I will have to write it out. This may be of interest to some of you, maybe none of you, but knowing that it is "out there" means I am more likely to get it done. This will likely include weather updates, since I can't seem to stop obsessing about winter. I'll track my progress in reaching both of my goals. Join me for some runs...mock me for slacking...offer advice. Whatever it takes, I ask you to come along for the ride and provide support!

And so the time is now. Training is kicking off, and so is the challenge of raising vital funds for cancer research. Given the statistics, we will all benefit either directly or through someone in our families. It's a challenge bigger than a marathon, and one that will continue long after April 16, 2012 has come and gone. But it is up to us all to rise to the challenge. And to start now so someday this Marathon Challenge will only have to provide care and support to cancer survivors...because that will be the only outcome after a cancer diagnosis. No other options. None.

I've said before that cancer can make you feel helpless and when I first signed up to run for Dana-Farber, it was during a time when I felt like there was nothing else I could do. There are a lot of times when I still feel that way, but I know that this effort by the DFMC is a big something, and it is making a difference. Please consider supporting Dana-Farber with a gift in honor of the the marathon team.

Click here to make a gift.

Be good. Be strong.

Toeing the Starting Line

2011-11-15T06:40:00.001-05:00

Last week was the first Runners Meeting of the season for the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge. It's always so motivating and inspiring to gather with many teammates to get prepared for the upcoming training season. There were so many people attending this meeting that they had to move it to a bigger room to accommodate all of the runners. That's the first time in the 4 years I've been on the team that this has happened, and I hope it is a sign of a very successful year. It's such a supportive group, with so much more to offer than a training plan.

The meetings are usually a combination of running and fundraising information. The goal of the DFMC team is first and foremost to raise research funds for the Barr program at Dana-Farber, the means of doing that is the running part. There is a personal connection for each of the runners to cancer and each has their own reason for running. At the meeting, we were treated to a show by two young boys whose dad is running. He was a member of the team a few years back, running in honor of his wife. This year, he is back running in memory of his wife and the mother of these two boys. One day this summer, the boys came up with the idea to do some fund raising of their own. They set up "drums" on their driveway....a bucket, a megaphone, a tamborine, etc. The younger boy, about 5 or 6 years old, sat in a small Radio Flyer wagon and played the drums and the older brother, maybe 8 or 9, held up a sign that said they were raising money for Dana-Farber Cancer Research. A drum show instead of a lemonade stand. To raise money for cancer. For their mom. These impressive young men reenacted their show for us, and then told us all about it. One person gave them a check for $40. Lots of people stopped and listened. At the meeting, they presented the DFMC a check for over $130 to kick off the season. And they signed autographs. That'll get you fired up.

After running a half marathon in October, I had been feeling a little unmotivated to run, and took some time "off." I'd go out for some shorter runs when I felt like it, but didn't look at what I should be doing or any sort of plan for about a month. It felt good. Last week, the motivation to run came back. I felt like going a little further, a little faster, and ready to start building up. I got out for regular runs at a decent pace and it felt good. Yesterday, I pulled out all the articles and books and training plans I have been collecting, and have started to put together my training plan for the next 21 weeks. I am ready to get started.

And I'm back to writing more, and have started to put together my other plan....making this year another productive, maybe record setting year raising valuable, important funds for Dana-Farber. Each year the support has been tremendous, and I am excited to get started again. I'm ready.

It's November 15 and it is 60 degrees at 6:30 a.m. Can't beat that. I've been enjoying every last minute of these higher than normal November temperatures, all the while preparing for the winter that lurks behind these treasured days. I'm ready for it...well, ready as I can be. Ready to run. Ready to remember. Ready to break new records. Ready to keep running the race against cancer.

Be good. Be strong.

Simple gifts

2011-11-10T10:14:00.002-05:00

I just got back from a run, and I couldn't get my kids out the door fast enough this morning in order to get on the road. I needed to escape to think and breathe and grieve and heal and celebrate and remember, but I don't think I could run far enough or fast enough to lift the heaviness that I am feeling today. Today is Mary's birthday, and I have to tell you that it's been a tough morning. A lot tougher than I thought it would be, and honestly, there wasn't much about today that I was looking forward to.

In the wide world of Facebook this morning, there have been such big, strong emotions shown for Mary, for our family, for her friends. I hate seeing them and love it all at the same time because of the emotions it stirs up. It makes me feel so overwhelmingly sad, yet comforted to know just how amazingly strong the bond is between us all. It allows the opportunity to "be together" in our sadness, and to share our thoughts with each other. To be closer and less alone. To feel the love and support and strength and familiarity of friends and family near and far.

Mary left an enormous legacy by showing us how to live a meaningful life. How to be a good friend. The importance of family. What it means to be an authentic, honest person. Words like "wonderful soul" and "strong spirit" and "amazing woman" are used to describe her, and Mary certainly left an impression on an immense number of people who were blessed enough to know her. Today, she is so deeply missed.

I love this picture from her birthday last year. You can feel her happiness and joy, and I know how good it was for her to laugh hard with her friends. For a brief period of time, she was given a new lease on life and she embraced each and every day. Like a birthday present you get to open a new each morning. She left us all many gifts...what was your favorite?

Happy birthday, M. Whipped cream, birthday crowns, a full moon dance party, and a whole lot of laughter. I'm smiling through the tears.

Be good. Be strong.

4.5 million steps closer

2011-11-03T17:12:00.000-04:00

The Grand Total announcement for the 2011 Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge team was made a couple of weeks ago. A new all-time record for the DFMC team....$4,598,628.50. I am so proud to be a part of such a successful and inspirational team, that even in light of the difficult economy, continues to advance the fight against cancer. This whole "finding a cure for cancer" thing is a marathon. It's impossible to know if we are getting close to the finish, or maybe just passing through the middles miles, but I do know that we are moving forward and taking steps every day. I also know that this DFMC team, and the $4,598,628.50 raised this year alone, is helping advance.

On a personal level, I surpassed my original goal by more than double to raise $47,721. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!! This effort is not a solo one, and there was certainly a great deal of help along the way from many, many people, including the "Friends of the Firths" in Chattanooga who organized the Ride for Life to bring over $12,000 to this cause. Additionally, more than 300 different people made contributions starting at $10 and going up from there showing that every dollar and every donation makes a difference. We together are making a huge impact. I can't write a check for $47,000, but my role as a member of the DFMC team is to bring together a group of people who care about this cause, and who can collectively give $47,000 or more. And we did that, together, for which I am incredibly grateful.

In the past 3 years of running for the marathon from Dana-Farber, I have helped to bring gifts over $82,000 to the Barr Program at Dana-Farber, along with all of you: supporters, friends, cheering sections, family members, co-workers, gift givers, kind word sharers, readers of this blog, sharers of this story, neighbors, running partners, etc.. It is certainly way beyond what I could have imagined when I first signed up. These funds are a gift for all of those who may face a cancer diagnosis in the future and all those who have reaped the benefits of the innovative research already conducted. It will make a difference.

The new running season is upon us, and the DFMC is gearing up for Boston in 2012. I am going to be back out there, logging a lot of miles between now and April, to get me from start to finish. And I'll again be running in a Dana-Farber shirt doing my best to help get the deserving and dedicated researchers at Dana-Farber the funds they need to find a cure.

Thank you dearly for your support and friendships. Thank you for supporting my family during some years that still are unfathomable. Thank you for being a part of this team that together is fighting to cure cancer.

http://www.runDFMC.org/2012/jennies

Be good. Be strong.

Connecting the dots

2011-10-06T10:02:00.004-04:00

"You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
~Steve Jobs

I started writing this last night as soon as the news hit my computer about death of Steve Jobs...the news of another life lost to this terrible disease called cancer. Stupid, stupid, crappy cancer. There seems to be almost a sense of surprise that someone like Steve Jobs, who knew great success, was susceptible to cancer just like anyone else. I just keep thinking this loss is a vivid reminder that cancer knows no boundaries and does not discriminate. It doesn't matter if you have a brilliant mind like Jobs or if you struggle to read. It doesn't matter if you have a billion dollars or not enough to pay the bills. It doesn't matter if you have kids, or if you are just a kid yourself. It doesn't matter if you've got a new job or are planning a dream vacation. No rational decision to strike is made based on who you are or what your situation, and we don't get to pick who it hits or why. We don't get to pick who responds to treatment and who doesn't, who becomes well and who loses their life. Cancer doesn't play a fair game and there are few rules. For me, since about 10 years ago, there hasn't been a day that has passed when I have thought about cancer, yet I know that isn't the case for everyone. However, it is news like this about someone who has had great influence in many, many lives reminds us of this, and just how far we still have to go to combat cancer in its many forms.

One of the most repeated phrases I've heard since the news was announced is that Steve Jobs "changed the world." And he did for millions of people. His ideas altered the way we interact with each other, the way many students are now taught in school, the way we listen to music, the way information is shared and stored, the way we play games, the way we shop, the way we find our way from one place to another. There's an app for about everything. And while not everyone has the far-reaching effect on others like Jobs did, I can't help but think that every single person has changed the world. Just being born changes the world for someone else. We make someone a parent or a sister or brother or aunt or uncle or grandparent. We build friendships. We work. We teach. We are neighbors. We play. We see and know others. Even the negative changes, things that are not always be for the better, are change nonetheless. It's all too simple to go on about our day without realizing the effect we can have on others. Each in our own way, we are changing the world, a little by just living and a lot more by how we live.

Steve Jobs encouraged people to envision change. To know your dream and follow your heart. There are too many people I love that have been affected by cancer and that has profoundly and deeply changed my world. I don't have a piece of technology to remind me of that, but I do have pictures and memories and an altered outlook on how to live well and to recognize what is important in my life. I want to connect the dots and be proud of the picture I see.

I wish peace, strength, and healing to the family and friends of Steve Jobs.
Be good. Be strong.

2012 DFMC Application is ready for you to complete!!

2011-09-10T14:45:00.002-04:00

I've been quite negligent of this blog over the summer but am planning to start back this week on a regular basis. In the meantime, I just wanted to put out there that the applications for the 2012 Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge team are available. It's an amazing experience with an inspiring and motivating group of people. Think about joining the team! I am planning to be back out there again this year and would love to have friends or family join in. The team will fill quickly so if you are interested I would encourage you to apply soon. Let me know if you have any questions!

Click here to apply or to learn more!

Be good. Be strong.

Ride for Life

2011-06-02T16:57:00.003-04:00

The Ride for Life will be held this weekend on Signal Mountain, TN. All proceeds will benefit the Barr Program in Innovative Basic Cancer Research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. This was an idea thought up by my sister, Mary, who devastatingly is not with us to see it through. It has, instead, been carried out by 9 of her friends who call themselves "Friends of the Firths." They are amazing friends and we are lucky to know them. If you are in Chattanooga, please think about getting out and joining them on Saturday morning.

Mary's friend, Claire, wrote this article about the ride and why they have organized this event. It's a great tribute to Mary, her friend and my sister.

http://chattanoogapulse.com/pulsefeatures/beyond-the-headlines/beyond-the-headlines-finding-a-way-to-be-good-be-strong/

Reflecting

2011-04-19T06:27:00.011-04:00

It's my favorite time of the day, the quiet of the morning before the rest of the house starts stirring. I thought that I'd still be snoozing this morning since it is school vacation week AND the marathon was yesterday, but no such luck. I am enjoying the peacefulness, drinking a cup of coffee and reflecting on the 2011 Boston Marathon, the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge, and the path to get to today....one day post marathon. It was an emotional, inspired, uplifting, motivational, yet bittersweet run on a beautiful April day in Massachusetts.

The Dana-Farber runners start the day together in Hopkinton....getting ready for running, taking a team picture, signing posters for the Jimmy Fund kids who are patient partners. For me, that time full of a lot of emotion. It is the big reminder of WHY I am running for Dana-Farber, but also a time when I try not to think too hard about that or I will be a puddle of emotions on the floor and not be able to find my way to the start line. Many of the runners are survivors of cancer themselves. Many more have lost a family member to cancer. Everyone has someone close to them that has received the diagnosis of cancer. We are running for the same purpose....a cure.

I was part of the third wave of runners to start, so we headed down to the starting line around 10:20 for our 10:40 start. There was a tailwind blowing from the west, and the sun was shining trying to warm the temps up from a chilly 45 to 60 at the finish. A perfect day for running, and off we went. 9000 runners starting at the same time makes for a crowd, and there is jockeying around early on. I was able to settle in to my pace after about 2 miles, and some mental talks with myself. "You feel fine." "No pain." "You've got this." "Settle in, get comfortable, relax, and just run." And that's what I did. I really felt good yesterday, and the miles went by pretty quickly.

The scenes, the crowds, the runners, the signs....there is so much support and so much to see out on the course. I wish I could run with a camera, but I am not coordinated enough. It's a celebration for 26 miles. I was lucky enough to see some friendly faces along the way, and I thank you for getting my attention. It's hard to see people along the way if you don't know where to look. There are constant screams of "Go Dana-Farber" and "Thank you for running, Dana-Farber," always bringing a smile and a thumbs up. All of the action allows you to take in the sights and focus on something other than each step or each minute. There are people dressed in costumes like gorillas and Sonic, or in tutus or crazy hats. There are reports of the Red Sox score (which was a win) and offers of beer. There are oranges, and Flav-or-Ice, and pretzels and licorice. Thousands and thousands running, and thousands and thousands offering support.

I'm a list maker, which helps me break things down into manageable pieces. Just like I do at home, I was able to break the run down into smaller chunks, happy to get through each part and move onto the others, checking the miles off my list. At 5 miles, one-fifth of the way there (well almost....but don't tell my running self that it's actually a little short). At 9 miles, one third of the way. Halfway there in Wellesley. Three miles of flat and then a big downhill. Another, 1.5 miles to see my family which is my biggest lift. Then 3 miles and over the hills. 4 more miles to the Dana-Farber Cheering section near Kenmore Square. And then 1.2 miles until the finish. Check! I finished in 3:48:59. My personal best. A Boston Qualifying time for next year. One minute and one second under my goal.

I spent a lot of time thinking about Molly, Mary, and John yesterday. I had a lot of time to do that. I talked to them while I was running. I thanked them for showing me what strength is. What it means to give it your all. I thought of them as I chugged it up the hills, actually feeling truly strong, knowing they were giving me a little lift. I missed them with every step, and felt deep sadness that they could not be there with us to take steps to kick cancer in the ass. My mantra for the race yesterday turned out to be the Jim Valvano quote "Don't give up. Don't ever give up." I like to have some words to concentrate on during the more trying times during a run, and wasn't sure what it was going to be yesterday until I saw a sign during the early miles with that quote on it. I repeated it when my steps felt difficult, when I was starting to feel like slowing down. I have had 3 beautiful, living examples of what it meant to never give up, and that carried me yesterday. We learned it from my parents and I will carry that lesson with me today and tomorrow and the next day. Don't ever give up. Don't ever, ever, ever give up.

Thank you for all of your messages of support. For caring about this cause on behalf of my family. For your contributions to Dana-Farber. For your notes and your pictures. For being out there and cheering. For your balloons and signs that were waiting for me at home. For the hugs. For understanding how important this has been for us. For caring about all of us. I remembered this all while I was running. I truly did. It helped to carry me along on a beautiful day.

My goal for the race was 3:50. I beat it by one minute. My original goal for DFMC was to raise $20,000 and have raised over $34,000 so far. Two check marks on my "to do" list. It's been a hell of a crazy ride, and a blur of a crazy emotions. But yesterday. Yesterday was an incredible day.

Be good. Be strong.

One last hill

2011-04-12T08:37:00.005-04:00

My knee hurts. I think I'm getting sick. I didn't train enough. It's going to rain. Might be 85 degrees. What if I miss the start? Am I eating the right thing? I'll wear long sleeves. Nope, shorts sleeves. Nope, long sleeves. Will there be wind? I haven't done enough. I've done too much. My ear itches. This show is a rerun.

Running helps clear my mind. It's my therapy. My quiet time. My "sort through the anxiety and daily grind" time. My escape. And with only 6 days to go until the Marathon and in the midst of tapering off, I am running less and stressing more. This is like the one last hill on Hereford St. before making the turn to the finish line in Boston. I have been going out for runs that aren't long enough or hard enough to reap the endorphin, natural healing vibes I need! These feelings will settle in a couple of days, but this week is mentally trying. It's full of emotion, a vivid reminder of why I am running this marathon for Dana-Farber. It's full of gratitude, for the amazing support that has been shown to this cause. It's full of checklists and notes and planning, trying to prepare for a good day. It's full of excitement that 4 or 5 months of training was the hard work, and the payoff is on Monday.

I could have never dreamed we together could reach over $32,000 raised for cancer research in a single year. But I also never could have dreamed what this year would have been like when I signed up to run last October. I don't think anyone could have. But, I still have hope. I still believe, as did Molly and Mary and John, that we can make a difference. We can be the change. We can do this for them. So many people have donated, held events, asked their friends and family for support, shared our story, taken this effort on as their own, and I am incredibly grateful for your support of Dana-Farber and of the Marathon Challenge this year. And we're not finished yet....www.runDFMC.org/2011/jennies.

I am not a cancer survivor. But I am a survivor of cancer and it's far reaching effects. Anyone who has lost a family member is. I would run forever if it could change the way things have been, but instead, I will run 26.2 on Monday to try to change the way things will be. For my family. For my children. For my friends. And for yours.

Be good. Be strong.

Molly's Way

2011-03-24T16:51:00.003-04:00

Today is Molly's 40th birthday. She always did birthdays big and made sure it was a special and unique day for the birthday celebrant. We can't celebrate with her, but we can live for her and honor her to ensure today is special and unique for her. Molly had an easy-going and effortless way about her. She was truly her own self all the time...no fronts or shows. Just Molly. At her funeral, I remembered a few of her best traits, her best actions, her best ways to live happily. I am sharing them with you today in hopes that we can always honor Molly and celebrate her 40th by living as she did....happy-go-lucky, with a beautiful and natural smile, believing in goodness, and loving those near and dear without condition. Happy Birthday to you, Molly.

When you smile, mean it. Let your kids wear a tiger tail or paint themselves purple or shoot the Red Rider BB gun at old cans in the backyard. Take the time to be just a little more kind and thoughtful, and mean it. Sing, sing loud, and get others to sing with you. Carry on her ability to encourage others to be nothing more than who they are, especially your kids, because no one should expect anything more. Teach the world her way of truly listening to whomever she was talking with. Sit through some red lights a few extra times so you are late on purpose because living by the clock isn’t always what matters. Hug your family and friends every chance you get. When in doubt, wear the red boots. Always play hard, and run with your elbows up. Don’t take life too seriously, and find laughter in every day. Know that life is adventure to be lived. Look at the full moon each month and remember all the blessings in your life. Try to live life with a little more dancing and a lot more fun. Because that is Molly’s way.

Be good. Be strong.

Nowhere special, just present

2011-03-21T18:34:00.007-04:00

"When we honestly ask which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness...makes it clear that whatever happens in the external world, being present to each other is what really matters." ~Henri JM Nouwen

I saw this on a friend's Facebook page and I just loved it (thanks, Kelly). It speaks volumes to what I've realized about friends and relationships over the past few years. It's certainly sound easy...just being present...but in the real world, it is much more complicated to carry out. It's hard to say why that is, and is probably way too much for this brain to analyze. But it seems to just be. I am grateful for all of you who have been "here" with me in the many, many ways you have found to be present.

In marathon news, we are four weeks out from the marathon and I am beginning to feel like I am going to need some glue and tape to hold it all together to get through 26.2. Aches and pains are fluctuating on a daily basis, and will hopefully settle down a bit. Trying to fix things without damaging others while still trying to run enough to feel like I can make it through the marathon in one piece. I have one more big run this weekend, and then will hopefully be able to mend things a bit before April 18. It's all simple enough. Countdown is on.

In weather news, it snowed today. And may snow again in 2 days. It was 70 degrees 3 days ago. Welcome to spring in New England, my absolutely least favorite time of the year. Days like this are just depressing and make you want to curl up in bed for the day. It's time to ditch the socks for flip flops and sandals. To have dinner outside. Run in shorts and a t-shirt. Let the kids run themselves ragged around the neighborhood. See all the people who have been locked inside since December and find out what's new in their lives. Open the windows and inhale the fresh air. Bring on the spring. The REAL spring! We're ready and waiting!!

Be good. Be strong.

Catching up

2011-03-16T16:13:00.004-04:00

It seems as though I've lost the past 6 weeks or so. I can't believe it is March 16. So much happened, so quickly and I am still reeling from it all. I've been trying to get my feet back underneath me and wade through all that kind of got lost in the shuffle. That includes my training, too. I figured it was time for an update.

I've made some changes, rather additions, to the blog. If you look at the home page, you'll see some "tabs" across the top. I wanted to have additional information about the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge, the Barr Program that receives the funds, some links I have found helpful, and other odds and ends.

I've started getting my runs in again on a regular basis. In addition to the upheaval of life preventing normal training, my calf injury from last spring started acting up. With the help of a very kind friend who is a physical therapist and a couple of sessions of massage on that leg, it is feeling much better. I ran a 20-mile training run over the weekend, and came out of it feeling pretty well. That is saying a lot since the week before I was limping and having trouble walking after an 8-mile run. So, I have one more long run (20-22 miles) next weekend, and then it is all downhill to Marathon Monday.

As far as fund raising goes, the total is over $27,000 right now, which is just incredible. There has been an amazing outpouring of support of this wonderful cause, and for that, I am so grateful. I am not thankful for the losses that have brought me to this place at this time....running for cancer research in memory of my sisters and brother, but I am grateful that so many people have reached out and recognized the reasons for this run. Thank you for your support. Thank you for your donations. Thank you for reading this blog. Thank you for sharing this story. It is truly a team effort.

But know that I am not yet finished. I am on a mission. For Mary, Molly, and John.

Be good. Be Strong.

Be the Change

2011-02-25T11:14:00.006-05:00

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ~Ghandi

We all have our "stuff" in our lives...work stuff, family stuff, the stuff that bothers you, the stuff you believe in, the stuff that makes a difference. This stuff is all influenced by our life experiences, our interactions, our relationships, our communities. It's different for each of us, and often is the guide for our thinking and our actions. So, this February 25, a day that marks three years since my sister, Molly, died, I ask you to think about your "stuff." What do you believe in? Who is important? What kind of world to you wish to see?

My "stuff" is what has pushed me in the direction of helping to fund cancer research. It's my beliefs, my pain, my history, my desire. I have been forced to recognize what is important in MY life has unfortunately deeply influenced by being a part of a family whose lives have been so deeply affected by cancer. The resulting priorities are abundantly clear, and I've tried to incorporate things I know a little about, like running, into making some changes that I wish to see. It's how I know to help. Because cancer has been forefront of my mind for so many years, I tend to be affected and inspired by examples of others in similar situations and how they have made changes in their lives....changes that affect many, many others.

My friend, Wendy, experienced the devastating loss of her two year old daughter, Emily, five years ago to a cancer called neuroblastoma. In the midst of their pain and recovery, she and her husband started a foundation called "Emily's Power for a Cure" that raises money for research and for making the lives of families affected by this disease easier. This week, a pediatric CT scanner and kid-friendly waiting room was dedicated at TC Thompson Children's Hospital in Chattanooga in honor of Emily. They had been through the testing with Emily when the option for a pediatric scan was not available, and they saw a need for a change. The foundation donated $300,000 to fund this center, and the ribbon cutting was covered by the local news (http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/2011/feb/24/ransom-six-honored-for-fighting-cancer/). There assistance is not only monetary but emotional as well. They reach out with support for local families who receive this diagnosis and try to alleviate the burdens that accompany the medical diagnosis. Their family is the change.

There is a local high school student, who I have never met personally, who lost his father in 2009 to colon cancer. Nolan is a pentathlete and last year, he decided to ask for pledges based on the number of points he scored in the All-State Pentathlon in Boston. He raised $10,000 for the MGH Cancer Center, and he is competing and fundraising again this year. Nolan created his own website (http://www.running-for-a-cure.com) and is reaching out to the community to support his efforts to honor his father. He is the change.

Two friends in the past week have signed up to run and/or walk the Country Music Half Marathon in Nashville at the end of April to raise money for cancer research at Dana-Farber. Deidre, a former co-worker, registered with Dana-Farber's "Running the Race Against Cancer" program to raise money directly for this wonderful institute in honor of our family. She created a personal website and committed to do this because as she said "words were not enough." She is the change. Gina is also running the same race and has asked that funds be channeled through the DFMC program of which I am a part. She is running because she "learned the death of someone close to you either stalls you or forces you to put one foot in front of the other." She is the change.

My sister, Mary, had hopes of organizing a bike ride in Chattanooga to raise money for cancer research. She believed in it, and although it ultimately did not bring about the results she had hoped, she knew that her participation and support might influence the lives of patients down the road. Many of Mary's friends are working hard to bring her hope of a bike ride to life, and are following through on their promise to her. They are the change.

These examples all have to do with cancer research, but ultimately, that isn't my point. It's just a long, roundabout way to get to my point because it's what I know and where my focus falls. The point is that these people saw a need and they are acting on it. There is plenty of change out there for each of us to make. It doesn't have to be complicated. It doesn't have to be an every day occurrence. I know that the time each of us has to commit is as varied as our interests, but sometimes it only takes a moment to "be the change." It's so easy to wait it out, to hope that change will come on its own somehow. I am as guilty of that as anyone, often believing someone else will take care of it. But we can all walk the walk if we truly recognize our priorities and just take a step

So, today I will try to find some hope in a day that brings sadness. I will try to see the changes we can make out there. I will try to walk the walk, especially for Molly. I will continue on my mission to help bring change in the world of cancer treatment, and will not give up on remembering the people and the things that were important to Molly.

Be good. Be strong.

The beautiful artwork embedded with this post are of Molly's red boots, and it was painted by Kim Clayton, a friend from high school.

Slow Motion

2011-02-21T15:07:00.006-05:00

Where is the pause button? I'd like nothing more today that to put life on hold for just a little bit of time, to have some time to process this craziness that has occurred. And I mean LIFE, not just my life. If everything could just take a little break for a while, it would allow some time to take some deep breaths. To remember and cherish and process. To catch up on all the things that have flown right by the past couple of weeks and landed in a big "to do" pile that is begging to be addressed. To figure out what our new "normal" will be moving forward. And to not have to worry about obligations and bills and grocery shopping and cleaning and paperwork and difficult relationships and so much other stupid stuff that requires attention and energy. Pause. Stop. Time-out. Whatever it takes.

We are not afforded that luxury, though, and we all know there is no magic button that would allow for that kind of time. We are granted little reprieves now and then, and help in the form of good friends. But, life keeps moving whether we move with it or not. There are vacations and birthdays and school and work and training and playdates and houses and exercising and all kinds of other things that will keep happening, just like before. Lives are being lived, just like they were before, even when you want to scream for everyone to STOP. That's just how it works. Calling "time-out" in order to have some time to play catch up just isn't an option.

And so I get up in the morning and we go about our routine. The routine things...that's the easier stuff to do and it what keeps our little piece of the world spinning. That spinning is a little slower, maybe, but it is still moving. And when I find I am getting through those routine things, I'll start thinking about the more complicated tasks. And they'll be added back in to our lives. And by doing these things, it keeps our little piece of the world moving despite a vastly different reality than just two weeks ago. It is a changed world in many ways, but since we can't keep life from continuing on, we'll just have to try to control the pace a little bit until we can catch up and grab on again. Perhaps instead of that elusive pause button, it is instead a slow-motion option we are able to each use at our discretion until we find we are able to continue at our own pace, whatever that may be. We have to keep moving, but how quickly we do that right now is an option we can control.

It's taken me a long time to write this. A couple of days. Lots of hours, and I am not even sure it is exactly what I want to say, but it is a start. Making sense of all that has happened has been and will continue to be slow, and writing sensibly has been even slower. Maybe because there aren't answers and honestly, there is little about it that makes sense. There is so much spinning around and what I want to do is tell you stories about Mary and Molly and John, especially for those of you who were not allowed to personally know them. I want to push rewind and tell about the days when cancer wasn't such a player in our 7 person family. I want to ask questions of people who might have some answers, and yell at people who don't. I want to find a way to express my gratitude to so many people that have stepped in to help ease the pace of the past few weeks (and years) without ever needing to be asked. I want to explain how getting out to run and run and run sometimes helps this to feel a little less painful. I want to find a big, giant, enormous way to help eradicate this disease so no other families have to experience such losses. I want to try to explain what an amazing example of selflessness our extended family has been over the years by always showing up, and staying. There are so many feelings and emotions and people and relationships and stories to share, but it all seems too fragmented right now. Moving and thinking in slow motion will do that, I guess.

In the meantime...Be good. Be strong.
For Mary, and Molly, and John.

Mary Frances

2011-02-09T10:59:00.002-05:00

My sister, Mary, died Monday night from complications from melanoma. She was at home with her family and some of her close friends with her. Mary lived with such courage and strength. I don't have a lot of words right now.

http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_194116.asp

Just Dance

2011-02-01T17:25:00.002-05:00

"Nobody cares if you're not a good dancer. Just get up and dance. The same holds true for racing. Whether first or last, we all cross the same finish line. Just get out there and run." ~ Dean Karnazes

Loved this quote. We're big fans of dance parties at our house. Sometimes just turning on some music is enough to brighten the spirit, shake kids out of the crankies, relax the mind, get us through until dinner time (which is shortly followed by bedtime), make you forget about the junk that sometimes overwhelms us, fills the hours of another snow day. Dancing makes you smile. A good song, played loud, can get your moving. You can't help but feel good when you've got your dancing shoes tapping. And it is true....it doesn't matter if you are "good" at it. "Good" is relative. The dance party does not discriminate, and welcomes all dancers. Running is much the same way. Finishing is the goal, no matter how fast or how far. Everyone moves at the own pace, with their own stride, in their very own quirky way. And it just feels good, just like dancing. So, get out there. Rock that run.

Be good. Be strong.
Dean Karnazes

Quick news

2011-01-31T17:02:00.003-05:00

A quick update on running and fundraising....

The weather has not been my running friend this month. We've been getting pounded with snow every 3-5 days, and are about 50" over average snowfall totals for this point in the year. Our roads are narrow due to snow banks, the air has been cold, and the snow storms keep coming one after another. I have been doing a fair number of runs on the treadmill, so I am getting them done, but they aren't as enjoyable as a nice, sunny day outside! Here is a picture of our street as of the weekend.
I was able to get in a 15 mile run on Saturday outside, which was great. I felt good, didn't get hit by a car (although there were some close calls), got through it without listening to music for safety reasons, and wasn't completely numb upon returning home so it was all in all a success. We are set for at least another foot of snow this week, but I am hopeful there will be an opportunity to run outside this weekend. I am due for another long one. We are lucky that our roads are cleared so efficiently but I do wonder where all of the snow is going to go! We are running out of room.

I am now almost halfway to my goal of $20,000. There is just over $8,000 posted to my page, and I have a donation in process of being submitted and credited. A local group, the North Shore Mother's Group, had their annual winter social event last weekend. This is a group comprised of local mothers who have a variety of events and programs throughout the year for families. This year, they made a decision to have a charitable component to each of their events, and were kind enough to make a donation to the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge from proceeds from their Winter Prom night. Andrew and I attended the event, and it was a lot of fun. They presented a check to the DFMC for $1,000, and I am incredibly grateful for the generosity of all of the members, and to the board for considering this cause as a beneficiary of their efforts. It speaks volumes to the kindness of many people in our community, and their efforts to "pay it forward" in many different aspects will certainly have long-term benefits for many groups in our area. Thank you, NSMG, for your support!

Please keep my sister, Mary, on your mind. She started a new treatment last week. She is just feeling completely worn out. Yet, she gets up, works, tries to exercise, always smiles, and has a kind word for everyone. She continues to inspire and impress each and every day. It is why I run. It is why so many of us run.

If you would like to contribute to the DFMC, please visit www.runDFMC.org/2011/jennies.

Be good. Be strong.

100 days

2011-01-07T17:32:00.003-05:00

Just saw online that there are 100 days until the Boston Marathon. 100 days. 14 weeks and 2 days. The marathon training season and fundraising has gone quite well so far. Fundraising probably better than training, but in my opinion, that's a good thing. I've raised just over $6,500. Of course you all remember that 100% goes directly to fund cancer research at Dana-Farber. Yes, 100%. It's the amazing part of the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge and the Barr Program. $6500 is just over 30% of the way to my goal of $20,000 with just over 3 months to go until the marathon. I'd be so bold as to say that the fundraising is off to a very quick start in comparison to prior years. In marathon running a start that is too fast is a big no-no, but it certainly works in regards to raising money for a world-class cancer institute!

One of the things that I am proud of and so thankful for the number of different people who make contributions. So far this year, 58 different people have made contributions to Dana-Farber. Each donation is meaningful and personal. Some are incredible surprises. Some come from people I have never even met. A few arrive with touching notes. Many are from people who have made donations for each of the past three years. Others are from groups of people who have combined their resources to give in honor of my family. Many include a personal story. Every single one is incredibly generous. Every single one is important. And I am so appreciative of each and every contribution. Thank you for putting me on the road to another topnotch year. My deepest thanks to all of you who have been able to make a contribution to this fantastic organization.

My running has gotten back on track after a sore hip kept me off the roads for a week, and traveling for the holidays slowed things a bit, although, to be honest, not as much as I figured it would. I was actually pretty good with getting in my scheduled runs although I didn't do any additional training like I had planned. I ate like it was my job, and the number of cookies I consumed within a two week period has also slowed me down to a drag at some points as I now try to pick up my heavy legs and shuffle on down the road. Better eating, better running, better cross training are on the schedule now. I am on track with some strength training and cross training, both activities which I hope will keep me well and running strong for the next 100 days and beyond. And so far, the weather has not bothered me at all. So far.

For those of you who have any interest in distance and workouts, here's my week in review: I did a long run of 11 miles yesterday and was joined by a friend who is training for a half ironman in early summer. She is much faster than I am (much, much, much faster), but slowed down enough for me to keep up, and she wasn't huffing and puffing in exhaustion at the end so was able to keep some conversation going while I felt like I was grunting out one word contributions to the conversations. While cold, it was a beautiful morning in town and I was able to appreciate the views for most of the run. The air is clear and refreshing in the winter and the views of the water are picture perfect. The rest of the week included a short recovery run on Monday with my husband, who has been trying to kickstart his running again. I did some hill repeats on Tuesday on the treadmill before the Endurance Running group at the Y. That class included many drills to improve form and balance, some sprints and some strength work, at which time by incredible weaknesses were outed for all to see. I rode the stationary bike on Wednesday, and will get in a 7 mile tempo run this weekend with my half marathon training partner. And maybe another bike ride or short run, too. 100 days, and many miles to go!

I hope the New Year brings you all much happiness, many laughs, and fun times with family and friends. Things to come on the blog....information about what the Barr program has been funding. Updates about my amazingly strong and enduring sister, Mary, who is starting another experimental treatment on Monday. Maybe some New Years resolution thinking. Training updates and running news. Lots of gratitude for generosity, friendship, family and support. Probably some weather news because I just can't help it. I'm a Southerner living in the frozen Northeast. It's a fascinating subject.

Remember....be good and be strong.
And Happy New Year to you all.

Cancer Research Saves Lives

2010-12-16T19:12:00.004-05:00

This video was shared today on Facebook by the Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center, which is not only affiliated with my alma mater, but more importantly is where Mary will be going for participation in a clinical trial for the second time. I think it helps to see how important research is, and just how immense the need is for funding. Cancer research saves lives. Please, donate if you can to the DFMC challenge team.

Be good. Be strong.

Tick-tock

2010-12-13T09:27:00.003-05:00

The holiday season seems to be a time of ramped up anxiety, stress and always rushing around. We always seem to have someplace to be, something to pick up, someone to visit, wrapping, shopping, driving, mailing, decorating, hiding, baking, and fitting in some sleep. We often hear "If only I had an extra day this week, a little more time to get it all done" but much less often do we hear "thank you for this day."

Last week, I received an email from someone who I don't know very well who had heard about the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge. She shared with me that her sister was very ill as a result of a glioblastoma, the type of brain tumor that Molly and John both had. She had gone through some experimental treatment that the doctors thought might work for a couple of weeks, maybe months. Surprisingly, it worked for almost exactly a year, although the benefits of the treatment have since stopped. She wrote to say "thank you for all you are doing. Thank you for helping to give people time." Not time to squeeze 27 "to do" items into one day, but time to just live. Time to spend with family and friends. Those words really caused me to stop and think. The days and minutes we so often ask for to run errands or go on a trip or take a run are really such a huge gift to us all, yet we take them for granted.

As widely reported last week, Elizabeth Edwards died after living with cancer for 6 years. I saw an interview with her and she said that she knew there wasn't a cure for type of cancer she had, but treatment to try to keep it at bay. She was hoping that the research would stay one step ahead of the disease, and what she wanted and needed most out of the treatment was time. Time to be with her kids, to see them to adulthood. It shouldn't be that way. The expectation of treatment shouldn't be just for a little more time, but for a cure. Time is better, but it isn't good enough. Six years isn't good enough. One year isn't good enough. A month isn't good enough. It's better, yes. But it is not enough.

Please take the time, MAKE THE TIME, to stop and smell the gingerbread. This holiday season, and every day, we need to make sure we take the time to laugh with friends. To read with our kids. To visit family. To throw out some extra hugs to our nearest and dearest. Have fun. Take a breath. Say thank you. And appreciate each second. Take advantage of each day, and use the time you have wisely.

I am once again overwhelmed. I'm taken aback by your words, thoughts, actions, and generosity in support of my entire family and the marathon run. There aren't ways to say thank you to so many of you who help make this marathon experience as meaningful and valuable as it is, and the "marathon season" has just begun. I can say the words "thank you" over and over but I don't think those words ring strong enough to exemplify how moved I am by your support. This endeavor each year, while beneficial and valuable to further cancer research, is also therapeutic for me. It helps me find healing and strength. It allows me to feel I am doing something against a disease that has causes so much sadness and taken so much energy. Your support and kindness make it a possibility. So, thank you. My gratitude is HUGE.

Be good. Be strong.

From Mary's view

2010-11-26T11:46:00.002-05:00

I wanted to share a link to my sister, Mary's, caringbridge site. It gives you a little insight into this week (and past few years) from her perspective. And it is beautifully written. If I did this correctly, you should be able to just click below and it will connect you.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/maryfirth

Take a stand. Don't be still.

2010-11-26T11:05:00.006-05:00

Dear Family and Friends,

April 18, 2011 has a “to do” entry on my calendar. At 10:30 a.m., I will be starting the 2011 Boston Marathon as a member of the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge for the 3^rd year. I will be again raising money for the Barr Program in Innovative Cancer Research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, and I would be so grateful for your support.

I was actually kind of looking forward to writing this letter this year. I was anxious to share with you all that my sister, Mary, had undergone innovative treatment this summer, and that it was working. I wanted you to know that she spent almost 4 weeks in the hospital, one in ICU, enduring grueling treatment, and she was doing well. At one month out of treatment, one tumor was shrinking. At two months, that first tumor was almost invisible on scans and a second was also shrinking. Mary started planning in increments beyond the following week, and we all were living with a little bit less stress every day. Unfortunately, on Tuesday, that excitement came to an end when Mary went in for her 3-month follow-up. The positive results, the shrinking tumors, were gone. The “invisible “ tumor was back and it had brought some friends with it. Happy Thanksgiving, right?

So, now I am writing this letter in a little bit different state of mind. This year, I am angry and I am even more motivated to continuing raising funds for cancer research. I will be running with renewed purpose and a greater sense of urgency that this disease needs to be stopped. I am not going to be reluctant to ask for funds. I am not going to be hindered by shyness about sharing our family’s story and talking about the effects of this disease in our lives. I lost my older sister, Molly, at the age of 36 to this disease. I lost my younger brother, John, at the age of 32 to this disease. And I have to sit and watch my sister, Mary, who just celebrated her 35^th birthday struggle every single day against this disease. This is personal and it is important, and I need your help.

So, please join me, my family, and the DFMC team in taking a stand against cancer. If your means allow, please consider a donation to the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge team. These funds enable researchers to continue their quest to find a cure, and to improve the lives of cancer patients around the world. For those of you who have contributed in the past, you know that 100% of your donation directly funds innovative, basic cancer research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. Every single cent. So, every single donation makes a difference: $5, $25, $100. Those dollars matter and are vital. If you are interested, you can make a gift directly online by visiting www.runDFMC.org/2011/jennies or

You can send a check made out to Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge to my home. Please leave me a message if you need the address.

Please know that there are ways to contribute to the lives of those with cancer beyond making a financial donation. You can volunteer your time to a cancer organization in your city. Run or walk in a race where the proceeds benefit a cancer organization. If you are in the greater Boston area, you can commit some time to volunteer for the DFMC team either during weekend runs or during marathon weekend. Send someone who has been affected by this disease a card or a note to let him or her know you are thinking about them. Plan a visit. Go out to lunch. Please share this message with others and invite them to either contribute to this important cause, or to a cause that is meaningful to them. Raise awareness and spread the word. Take a stand. Just don’t be still.

I am again blogging about my experiences (www.begoodbestrong.blogspot.com) and plan to include information about the research the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge is currently funding so you can see first hand how you contributions are helping in this fight against cancer. I also hope to continue share with you how this disease has affected our lives and the lives of our family and friends. Unfortunately too many of us have stories to share and understand how deeply the ramifications of such a horrible disease can cut.

During this time of Thanksgiving, please remember to express your appreciation to those you love and who love you. Find gratitude, although it isn’t always as simple as you’d like it to be. I am again so thankful for the opportunity to run for this organization that I truly believe to be important and valuable. I am thankful for the overwhelming and generous support that has been shown the past two years, and for all of you who share kindness, generosity, and support. I have hope that my participation on this team will help further the efforts to find a cure for cancer.

Be good. Be strong.

Believe in hope.

Kindly,

Jennie

www.runDFMC.org/2011/jennies

www.begoodbestrong.blogspot.com

It's coming around again

2010-10-25T10:19:00.005-04:00

I'll be back....on the starting line of the Boston Marathon again in 2011. My spot on the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge team, as of this morning, is confirmed and I am all set to begin training. 5 months and 24 days from now I'll be taking the first of many, many steps along the road to Boston. It is because of the overwhelming kindness, support and generosity of so many people that I am once again able to commit to this cause and this race for the third time. I've set my goal high, and am excited about the chance to again represent Dana-Farber on the marathon course.

This year, my sister, Mary, underwent cutting edge treatment for melanoma. This treatment was developed and enriched through many, many years of research. And this treatment is working for her. Once just an idea, funding for basic cancer research helped make this idea a reality, and as a result, there are many patients reaping the benefits. There are more ideas out there that need to become reality. There is now a vaccine in development for glioblastomas (the type of brain tumor that my siblings, Molly and John, had) that is working. There are genetic tests that keep people from unnecessary treatments that are working. There are many people living longer. The research is working. But it isn't even close to finished. And that is why the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge is in existence.

Last year, the DFMC team raised over $4.5 million dollars. Every single penny of that money goes directly to fund research at Dana-Farber. Every single penny. It doesn't go to pay overhead. It doesn't pay for parties. It doesn't pay for construction. This money pays for research. Innovative, basic cancer research at one of the top institutes in the country. And that is how ideas become reality. And how we get closer to a cure.

I am thankful beyond words for the research that has given Mary the opportunity to live with hope. I am so thankful for the opportunity to again be a member of this team. I am thankful for every donation, every kind word, every running partner that shares some miles with me, every hug, every smiling face out on the course, every member of "Team Jennie" over the past two years, and every effort to make these experiences so successful and meaningful. Without all of this kindness shown by our friends and family, this opportunity would not exist. It allows all of us to live with hope.

Be good. Be strong.
www.runDFMC.org/2011/jennies

Running for fun

2010-10-11T18:41:00.006-04:00

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. ~Dale Carnegie

Yesterday I ran my first official "race" since the marathon. It's was a race in that I was given a number and timing chip, and I started running with 4,500 other runners at the same time aiming to cross the same finish line. But I've come to prefer calling most of these events "runs" in place of "races" because usually my motivation for completing them really is not to win or even to place well against the field. It's to just get out there and run. If I am racing, it is usually only against myself. But when I am out there running just to run, I think I enjoy the events much more. The stress is less. The anxiety is less. And the fun factor and happiness factor...you guessed it. Much higher. I still like a little competition here and there, a test of fitness or a truly hard effort that you aren't likely get from running on your own. A race. But I also like standing at the start line just happy to be out for a run with a bunch of people who feel the same way. Running for fun.

For kids, running events are always called "Fun Runs." It's the grown-up versions that are usually called races. Maybe more people would participate if the purpose of some of these events was running for fun, where you win just for participating and your finishing time doesn't matter. In fact, it wouldn't even be measured. In a time when there is such a push for people to get healthy, and I think setting a goal of participating in a fitness event is a method that works. I know that it works for me. I am a much more consistent runner if I have something marked on the calendar, a goal. I think the competition aspect of "racing" is daunting to many people, especially new runners or walkers, and maybe, just maybe, the fun factor might be a big draw to get people moving and aiming to reach a goal.

Participating in these events, even coming out and watching the runners go by, helps you to see what an inclusive sport running can be. What so many people notice when watching a race, especially one with a crowded field, is the many, many different types of people who are running. Different strides, different body shapes, different genders and ages, different abilities, different paces, and different goals. The course yesterday had a turnaround spot so there was the opportunity to see the entire field about a third of the way through the race. We could see everyone ahead of us and everyone behind us as we ran. I loved watching the thousands of people pass by. Everyone has a story. Everyone is out there for a different reason. To finish, to reach a personal goal, to help someone else reach a goal, to improve, to beat the odds, to just know that they can. It's humbling and empowering. It's exciting and exhausting. It can be exhilarating and defeating all at the same time. It's something I love to do. I guess because I think it is fun.

Somewhere along the line, this turned into a bit of pep rally for running. While it wasn't my intention when I sat down tonight, I can't say it isn't how I feel. It's good for your body. It's good for your mind. Please make sure you are in okay shape to start out if you haven't run in a while. Or in forever. And you don't even have to run. Take a walk or ride a bike. Go for a swim. Just get out there and do it. It might take some time to get there, but if you give it a try, you might just find you are having fun. Success!

Be good. Be strong.

It's where the heart is

2010-08-19T11:41:00.003-04:00

Home….it’s where the heart is. The only problem is that with my heart, little pieces of it are all around the country in the different places I've lived. “Home” is a more fluid place than just a house. It isn’t just where I currently hang my hat, or where I grew up, or went to school, or where my parents live. It’s all of these places. But, what I’ve found is that the definition of home, for me, is people not places. Friends and family. Teachers and classmates. Neighbors. Not houses and buildings.

What draws me back, what brings about the comfort of home are the people that I have known and have met in each of these places. The relationships that have built and molded and created the person I am now. The people I have learned from, grown with, laughed with, did really stupid things with. Seeing these faces, being surrounded by their laughter, feeling their hugs, that’s what feels like home. That’s what makes me miss a place.

My "home" history is as follows: I was born in North Carolina, but we only lived there for about 6 months after I was born. We moved back to New York, where my parents had grown up and most of our extended family was living at the time. When I was 9, we moved to Signal Mountain, TN (a suburb of Chattanooga), where we lived until I went to college. I went to school in Nashville, and we lived there for four years after graduation. Then we moved to Massachusetts, and have been here for 12 years. It was actually 12 years yesterday, which is actually kind of shocking to me but besides the point. In the meantime, my parents lived in Annapolis, MD for 11 years and have been near Wilmington, NC for 7 years. My husband’s family has lived in St. Louis throughout. So, physically, home has been a lot of places.

So, what did I learn on summer vacation?

I learned that although I don’t remember much about living in New York, I remember spending much of our time with our cousins. Two of my cousins came down to North Carolina for a week, where we spent most of our vacation time, and the time and distance between visits don’t matter because being with them feels like home. Digging our toes in the sand, a dance party, family dinners, a shared history. That feels like home.

I learned that although I never lived in Maryland when my parents were there, my brother and sister went to high school there, and my other sisters lived there for many years, too. Their connection to that area is much stronger than mine, but their friends, they became a part of our family. And their friendships extend to all of us. I saw this through their actions in helping make Mary’s recent stay at NIH easier for her and for our family. And those actions, those relationships make it feel like home.

I learned that what I miss about Chattanooga is people. This is the city I say I am from, having spent most of my most formative, growing up years there. I went back for my high school reunion in July, and it couldn’t have been more clear that it is the people that are home to me. People who I’ve known since before I knew much about myself. People who know my entire family, not just me. People who helped me figure out different parts of who I am. Friends. And seeing all of these faces, it was coming home.

And I learned that visiting our famillies, no matter where they live, will always feel like home. It just does. No matter how old I am, how many kids I show up with. Being with family is home.

And now, we are back in our house in Massachusetts. Twelve years is almost as long as I’ve lived anywhere else. I would say we've put down roots as a family, as “grown-ups” out on our own. Bought a house. Had three kids. Worked. Played. Met great people and formed strong friendships. It is as much of a home to us as anywhere else, but I’ve been dragging my feet a little bit since we got back. I keep thinking about how far removed we are from all of these people we just visited, and how visits aren’t as easy anymore. Not only is the physical distance long, but the obligations we all have these days fill our time so visits aren't as easy to make. But then I remember that the people that made those places seem like home again, well, many of them were going back to the places where they hang their hats now. And we are getting back into the swing of things here, and the comfortable feelings of this house return. Spending time in this kitchen with friends feels like home. And our neighbors, they make this home. And our friends, they bring the smiles and the fun. And we’re home again.

Glinda the Good Witch said, “Are you ready now? Then close your eyes, and tap your heels together three times.” Remember, there’s no place like home. There is no place like home. If only it was that easy.

Be good. Be strong.

Rejoice in the beautiful game

2010-06-22T13:12:00.005-04:00

World Cup fever has struck around our house for the past 10 days. I have watched as many games as possible, sometimes altering schedules so we can be home to watch, while trying to maintain some semblance of normal life. I just love watching it all. The excitement of the fans, the amazing skill level, the national pride. I can do without the intentional dives and the flagrant fouls, but I guess that is part of the game, too, although I am glad FIFA is trying to eliminate some of the garbage out there. I found myself home alone screaming the other day when the U.S. scored the second goal to tie the game against Slovenia. We have been trying to get the kids excited about it, too. It can be a hard game to follow on TV, but when played well, it really is a beautiful sport. It's been exciting so far, and we are gearing up for the US-Algeria showdown tomorrow morning. Good thing today is the last day of school. Breakfast at World Cup for our house tomorrow!

I grew up playing soccer. We played year round, indoor and outdoor, school and recreation. All of my siblings played and it was our family game. There were a few years on Thanksgiving that we'd gather our visiting family members and neighbors and friends and "play" while the turkey was cooking. The rules may have been a little different in those games and may have involved full body tackling, but the idea was the same. It was something that brought us all together. A bond that we all shared. We played in the yard, on the beach, in the house. Wherever there was a ball.

Way back in 4th grade, I remember my parents telling me they had signed me up to play soccer when we moved to Signal Mountain, TN from New York. I didn't want to do it. I didn't know if I would be good enough, and I didn't know anyone else. I was a kid (and am an adult, too) that doesn't like the unexpected. Despite enjoying kicking around a soccer ball at home, I was absolutely positive that playing organized soccer was not for me. My parents, who were all the wiser at the time, made me do it because they knew it would be a good way to meet people and to help make the transition easier. And they were right. Some of my strongest and most meaningful friendships were formed on the soccer field. As my early teammates and I grew older and went off to different high schools, we often played against each other, but the camaraderie of having once been teammates always remained. And in the off season from school, we often found ourselves again dressed in the same uniform playing together again. Always teammates.

So, I've been thinking, as I sometimes do when I am trying to make some order of chaos, about these teams and teammates, and the World Cup, and how it relates to our lives today. And I have zeroed in on the idea of the team, and how we all form our own team to help get through our lives. We build a team of players just as a world class soccer team is built, everyone with their own talents to offer, their own roles and jobs, that when all put together, help to bring about success. Every team has a philosophy, a way to manage their play. Some people push hard on offense, others rely more on defense. Each time has a different lineup, and plays the field in their own unique way. Plans can vary depending on the day or situation or the team you are facing. Each team is built with players that fit the ideals of the entire team. You want your team to be made up of selfless players, those who realize the end goal is the team's goal. You admire the variety of skill and level of play each player brings to the field. You try to eliminate the actors, those who throw themselves around for the drama and attention. You find that some players come, play a game or two and move on in an effort to find their best team or a team that is a better fit for their style of play. A core group always remains. Those you trust, those you believe in, those who will drop back and cover.

And as I get older, I have found that the playing field is sometimes quality and other times a little muddy and rocky. The play of game, as with life, is influenced by so many extraneous factors, but you have to keep right on playing. In fact, one of most favorite times to play soccer was in the pouring rain, in piles of mud. Yucking it up with your teammates, covered from head to toe in mud and loving every minute of it. No matter what the circumstances, the team, your team, that you have built over the years, is always standing by ready to play.

My sister, Mary, is supposed to undergo surgery on Thursday where they hope to remove a tumor in her abdomen. They aren't sure they'll be able to do it, and the outcome of the surgery will affect her progress in a clinical trial at the National Cancer Institute at NIH. Please keep Mary in your thoughts and prayers this week. She deserves a break in the right direction.

Be good. Be strong. Go USA!

P.S. The picture is from my junior year of high school when our team won the TN State Championship. Go Irish!

Float!

2010-06-08T09:02:00.003-04:00

Back in February, we took the kids out to California for school vacation with another family, We rented a house about 45 minutes north of San Diego and flew out there with little planned, only to get to the San Diego Zoo and Legoland. We would plan our days when we got there based on the weather, mood, and level of exhaustion each morning.

For many, many reasons, it was a great trip. We had great travel partners, no expectations to be anywhere or do anything, kids that enjoyed being with each other, lots of laughs, good food, tasty margaritas, plentiful sunshine, and an escape from the New England winter, among other things. It was exactly what we needed.

And why I am thinking about that today, four months later. Actually, I think about the trip a lot, and one particular exchange between the moms the day before we were leaving. We went down the Scripps Aquarium at UCSD in La Jolla, and the two of us found ourselves transfixed by the tank with hundreds of tiny moon jellies. The jellyfish were fluid, tranquil, effortless in that tank. It was almost hypnotic to watch them floating weightlessly around the tank. She looked at me and said that she was going to remind herself of the peacefulness and ease at which the jellyfish were moving through the water the next day when we had to get up at 3:30 a.m. and drive to LA to catch our flight home (where it was snowing). And we did as as we waited line to get through security with six kids, six backpacks, two suitcases, a stroller, accidentally hidden bottles of contraband water, shoes that needed to be taken off and retied, and complaints of thirst and hunger, Remember the jelly fish. And I have many days since then. Like when I heard the new treatment plan for my sister. More simply, when in the checkout line at Market Basket or sitting in traffic with someone behind you that won't stop honking his horn. When trying to deal rationally with irrational people, or to make sense of difficult situations. Become one with the jellies and float!

Warning: I've found in the past couple of weeks that too much "jelly fish living" makes for piles of papers and junk all over the kitchen counters and a list of things to do that is never ending, and "floating through the days without purpose" mentality should be somewhat limited to times of stress and not all day long. It's a relaxation strategy that works best during the times when patience and tolerance seems to be slipping away! Make like a jellyfish and float. Relax. Just let it go.

Living Proof

2010-05-19T16:29:00.008-04:00

With the marathon having come and gone, I've sat down to write on a few occasions, but for various reasons, I haven't been able to finish a new posting. I used to do a lot of thinking while on my long runs, and I haven't done any big runs so my "thinking" has been a bit absent. Or lacking focus. The weather has been pretty good so I haven't been able to complain about that, either. It's a crazy time of year with sports and school, too, so finding the right time to sit down and concentrate has been absent, too. This past weekend, however, has given me reason to write.

We gathered this past weekend to ride in the Brain Tumor Ride for Research for the 6th year. My brother, John, started our team in 2005 when 6 of us gathered to ride. We've come back every year since, and to date, have raised over $115,000 to the National Brain Tumor Society to fund research and patient programs. This year, the ride was a bittersweet occasion in that May 16 marked the one year "anniversary" of John's death. While John was on our minds and in our hearts, riding for he and Molly felt like the right thing to be doing on that day. In some way, at least for me, it made that "anniversary" a little easier to be participating in a cause that John and Molly felt to be important.

The other important lesson I took from the weekend was from my sister, Mary, who hopped on a bike and finished the ride when she had every good reason to kick back and take it easy. After 2 years of ongoing treatment which includes a total hip replacement, Mary did not shrink from participating in the ride this year. She had been training for this weekend for the past couple of months, even while feeling terrible from her treatment. She did not hesitate get up here and participate on Sunday morning, and she banged out the miles without a problem and without a complaint.

Mary was last here in April when she was kind enough and thoughtful enough to make a quick trip to support me during the marathon, and then head right out of town to get to Nashville for her appointments. She had follow-up scans in Nashville to see how her current treatment was going. Unfortunately, she heard the dreaded "progression of disease" talk from them and was taken off the treatment. With some guidance and a lot of independent research, Mary set out to explore the various options out there. The long and short of it is that she recently found out that she is eligible for a treatment at the National Cancer Institute, which is part of the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, MD. She had to have blood work and scans to see if she met the criteria to participate, and she is. The waiting game, 4 weeks later, continues as she waits to hear when she can get up there and get rolling.

And so, seeing Mary, without hesitation, get back up to Boston and finish the ride again this year is humbling. Mary did this because she believes in the research, she believes in the cause, she believes in our family, and she believes in herself. Mary was one of those people that I wrote about after the marathon....the "Living Proof" team members who are cancer survivors or current patients that are out there walking the walk. She raised over $6000 independently, too, and was the top fundraiser on our team by a long shot. And she does all of this research and training and healing all while keeping up with a full-time job, and devoting a lot of energy to being an amazing friend, sister, and daughter on top of it all. Without complaint. Her attitude and behavior is the epitome of inspiring. It reminds us to do what we can to make positive changes, and to get up each day, no matter what the circumstances, and keep moving forward.

Mary, this weekend and every day, reminds me of what it means to Be good. Be strong.

The finish line

2010-04-20T11:52:00.007-04:00

Well, the 114th running of the Boston Marathon is in the books. I finished in 4 hours and 10 minutes, and was running when I crossed the finish line. It wasn't my best running day ever, but it was definitely one of my best days ever. Even though I didn't feel great, every mile was worth it.

It turned out to be a beautiful day. We had a really ugly weekend filled with rain, some sleet, and really cold temperatures. If the marathon had been held on Saturday, it would not have been pretty. But, it cleared out for the start, and the temperature, in the 50s, was just right for running.

I took a bus sponsored by a local running club from a nearby parking lot right to the Athlete's Village in Hopkinton. It took about 2 hours to get out there from here with traffic and road closures. I sat with a woman who I recently met who was running Boston as her first marathon ever. She started running about a year ago. She has 4 kids under the age of 8, too, which makes this feat even that much more admirable. What an impressive goal, one that she accomplished, too!! It was nice to have a friendly face to chat with to make the time pass quickly.

Upon arriving in Hopkinton, I bolted for the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge pre-race haven in Hopkinton. A local church hall is set up as a refuge for pre-race with food, sunscreen, vaseline, water/gatorade, and many friendly faces. There are between 500-550 DFMC runners, and it is a sight to be seen in and around that church on Marathon Monday. We gather for a team photo before the start. After the team picture, they asked the "Living Proof" teammates to come up front for a photo. This year, there were 26 runners who are either cancer survivors or current cancer patients. They got a huge round of well-deserved applause from their teammates. What an impressive and emotional sight.

We milled around a little bit more, and then it was time to head down to be corralled for the start. They were set up for 27000 runners, and you gather in groups of 1000. Right before the start, they drop the ropes that divide the groups, and you all merge into a pack as you move towards the start. It took us about 8 minutes from where we were to get across the starting line. And we were off. Tens of thousands of people pounding the pavement towards Boston.

I knew early on that my time goal was out the window. I think deep down I knew that before I started, but had some hope that I would feel terrific after 3 weeks of rest and would be able to bounce happily towards the finish line on fresh legs. No such luck. By ten miles in, my legs were heavy and tired and I was just hoping to make it to the end. I saw some wonderful friends around the halfway point, and a quick hug and lots of smiles and cheers gave me the push I need to move on down the road. My husband, kids, sisters, aunt, cousin and neighbors were there to tell me that I was doing great and to just keep going. It was what I need to hear. By the time I saw them at around 15 miles, my legs felt like they should when I have only two or three miles left. Unfortunately, I had 11 to go. I handed over my watch to them so I would stop worrying about my pace, and just run based on how I felt. They were going to meet me about 6 or 7 miles down the road, and I needed that incentive to keep on moving.

By the time I got to mile 17, I was breaking the course down into smaller segments. Get to the next water stop. Look for the our friends at the Woodland T stop. Just get to the next hill. Another water stop ahead. Run past the Boston College crowd so they don't harass you. Run until you see the Citgo sign. Find your family again with the 23 mile marker within sight. Get a hug and some inspiration. Only 3 to go. The Dana-Farber group has a cheering crowd at the 25 mile point, and that became my next goal. The patient partners (pediatric patients who are matched up with runners) and their families are all there. I ran along next to them, giving them high fives and some cheers for being out there. I missed this last year. I didn't know exactly where they were and I was on the wrong side of the street at the time. I really wanted to feel their energy and support this year, and I am so glad I did. Only 1.2 miles left. Under Mass. Ave, right on Hereford, left on Boylston and you can see the end. .2 miles to the finish line. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot. And then I was finished.

The crowds were terrific and huge and loud and encouraging and inspiring. Too many Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge signs to count. So many cheers of "Go Dana-Farber" and "Thank you Dana-Farber" along the entire route, in every town and throughout every mile. The thousands of other runners keep you going, too. There was a man that pushes himself backward with one leg in a wheelchair. I saw him last year, and knew he was back to do it again. Team Hoyt was there again, too. They are well known up here, but for those of you who don't know them, Dick Hoyt pushes his son, Rick, in a special wheelchair. Rick has cerebral palsy, and this was the 28th year that they have run Boston and they completed over 1000 races including Ironman triathlons together. Google "Team Hoyt" and read their story. There were blind runners with guides. There was Elvis, the Cat in The Hat, Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Bananas, and Mario out there running, too. There are many other charities represented, each runner with their own purpose and inspiration. There were signs reading "Happy Thoughts" and "Where's Valerie?" and "Tampa Bay 6, Red Sox 0" and "Run, Mommy, Run." And everyday runners from all over the world. It's an experience that makes you have one of your best days ever, even if you don't feel your best.

Did I feel good yesterday? Not so much. Did I love it? You bet. My aunt said to me this morning that she wasn't going to even ask me if I was going to do it again until I could walk normally again. But, I already know the answer. If I am able, I will. What I realized is that this effort, this marathon, this cause....it isn't about me or my personal goals. They are good to have but should probably be saved for a different race at a different time when that is my focus. I discovered yesterday that what makes me run in Boston isn't trying to achieve a personal best. My focus for running Boston is my family, and your family, and friends. And funding research to find a cure for cancer. That's what got me to the finish line.

Be good. Be strong.

Providing a spark

2010-04-18T06:40:00.005-04:00

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." ~Albert Schweitzer

I've been trying to say "thank-you" to as many of you as I can for your support of this endeavor this year. While the financial support of this cause has been extraordinary and out of the realm of anything I could have imagined, I've been truly touched by the everyday support and kindness in a way I will not forget. I've heard from cousins, elementary school friends, high school teammates, high school classmates of my parents, relatives of family friends, teachers, my dear college girlies, friends of my siblings, coworkers of my husband, parents of the friends of my kids, friends of friends of friends, and even from many people I've never met. The breadth of support has come from far and wide, and I am inspired and motivated by all of you. Thank you for hearing our story and understanding the importance of this cause. Thank you for offering a kind word when we've crossed paths. Thanks for the emails and cards with your meaningful messages of support. Thank you for planning the 80's party, and for coming out in support of this cause. Thanks for running with me, and for pushing me to continue on. Thanks for your advice and coaching. Thank you to all of you who have stood by our family, and who have really understood and listened. Thank you for teaching me about kindness and compassion through your example. Thank for being a part of this experience, and for making it so incredibly meaningful. Thanks for providing a spark. I am truly grateful.

Thanks to all of you who have been able to make a contribution to Dana-Farber this year in honor of the marathon. As of this moment, we've been able to contribute $19,296, which will help the entire DFMC team on the way to fulfilling the $4.4 million goal. If you would still like to make a donation, contributions can be accepted for a while longer, and can be made by visiting www.runDFMC.org/2010/jennies.

I think my work for tomorrow is just about complete. Gear is all packed. We picked up my number and DFMC stuff yesterday in Boston. I've been getting some extra carbs and water on board. Dinner is planned for tonight. Spectator plans are final. All that is left to do is run, and to keep saying thank-you along the way.

If you are in the Boston area, come out and cheer for the runners tomorrow. It looks to be a really nice day. There are 26 miles of roads so finding a clear spot is not too hard! My family will be in Wellesley and hopefully Brookline before meeting me at the Finish. Let me know if you want to join them, and I'll fill you in on their top-notch viewing location. I'll be wearing #22881, my orange Dana-Farber shirt, and hopefully a smile!

Be good. Be strong.

Prep work

2010-04-16T17:08:00.005-04:00

Marathon weekend is here. I am feeling the excitement, and am waiting with anticipation for Monday morning to roll around so we can get this show on the road! This week has been long, filled with emotions and stress and doubt, but also many well wishes and kind words. I got a run in for the first time in almost 3 weeks yesterday. No pain but lots of difficulty breathing and tired legs. But the important part of that is that I had no pain in my leg!! I hope the weeks of rest will pay off on Monday, but I am just thankful that I will be in Hopkinton on Monday ready to start. Hopefully I'll find myself in Boston a few hours later having arrived by running on my own legs!!

I finished my shirt (see picture) that I will wear on Monday, and will proudly carry the names of 135 people who have been diagnosed with cancer. Thank you for sharing their stories with me. If you are out on the course, please give a shout out to the 500 Dana-Farber runners out there. We'll all be cruising down the road in these orange shirts, so you won't miss us!

We'll head into Boston tomorrow to pick up my number and check out the expo. I'll check in with the Dana-Farber crew while we are in there to make sure I am all set for Monday. We may try to scope out a second viewing spot closer to the city. We have usually set up shop in Wellesley around mile 16, but my family may try to sneak a second location this year in Newton or Brookline. If anyone has any secrets about parking or getting to the course without a lot of walking, please feel free to share them.

And we'll spend some time relaxing. I am happy to have my sisters here, and it is supposed to be a rainy couple of days, so it is a good reason to stay inside and put our feet up. It's too cold for these Southerners in April, too! We'll eat some good carbs, and drink a lot of fluid in preparation. And by this time on Monday, I should be (hope to be!) finished with the 2010 running of the Boston Marathon, and will be relishing and rethinking the day from start to finish. I will probably be rehashing the experience while maybe having some ice cream or cake, maybe a margarita or beer, followed by some pizza or a burger. All depends on how I am feeling! Eating may be followed by a nap, and then maybe some more eating. I hope that I will be walking on my own without any extraneous bandages or ice packs attached as a result from the run, too. Without having any idea how I will feel on Monday or what kind of run it will be, I know that despite all the extraneous circumstances that affect the day, it will be good. And I will be glad it is over, and all the while, I'll be wishing to do it all again.

Be good. Be strong.

The old ball and chain

2010-04-12T17:26:00.006-04:00

As the number of days until the marathon dwindles, I am finding my level of anxiety increasing just a little bit. The cut back on training as a race gets closer is always hard, but this year I have found it to be a little worse than normal. I don't remember feeling this way last year, but I was not trying to let an injury heal and had other things of higher priority as my focus at the time. As I've said before, running is a good activity for me because it keeps me busy, gets me moving, and occupies my mind. In the absence of this obsession, I have been restless and without much focus, and therefore, a total bother to my husband and kids!

My husband, Andrew, really isn't the old ball and chain as I named this post. He's actually quite the opposite, and a big part of the reason why I am able to run as much as I like to. He is deserving of a great deal of gratitude for making this commitment so easy for me. Having a spouse (or girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, ball and chain, etc.) training for a marathon is not easy. It's a big time commitment, especially on the weekends, and it can be a physically and emotionally draining time for both the runner and their family. I am lucky to have a husband who is not phased by this, and does what he can to be supportive. Andrew understands why I run, and how it makes me feel (which is usually much calmer and at ease). He understands how I feel when I haven't run, too (which can be edgy and impatient at best). Last week, he kindly nudged me to go "do something that will make you feel like you had gone running" so I would find a happy place again. He's been known to kick me out the door to go for a run because, more often than not, I am a happier person when I get home. He also recognizes this fine line that exists between feeling great and feeling like junk after a long run, and on those "junk" days, he so graciously suggests I take a nap. I imagine the alternative to me sleeping is for me to be cranky and annoying, so why not let me rest, right? And he knows why running for Dana-Farber is important to me. He just gets it.

The thing is that he has always "gotten it." Not just about running, but about life and family and providing support. Never has this been more evident than in the past two years. The craziness that comes with any long-term illness, like cancer, can really bring to light the core of who someone is inside. My brother, John, lived with our family off and on for five years, including the final year of his life. He came to live with us originally for about a year so he could begin receiving treatment in Boston, and over the next few years, while his health was good, he lived on his own. In 2008, John came back to live with us after the tumor had recurred so he could again begin treatment. Throughout these stays, Andrew's support was unwavering, not just of me but of John. He welcomed him in our home whenever he needed or wanted to be here. He just felt like that is what you do to help family. He believes that our extended families are one and the same. Not his family and my family, but our family. And he's always been willing to take with that whatever was coming down the road, and for a while, there hasn't been a whole lot of happy rolling down the street. When John's health started to worsen, my parents and sisters and aunts were here for weeks at a time. Andrew was happy to have them around. John's friends made trips to visit him and there were people coming and going at all times. Andrew was happy to see their faces. When visiting nurses or hospice people were here, he was always happy to help. He never complained, or at least only in jest to bring some laughs to the crazy aunties. He always shared a laugh or a joke when the mood called for it, and sometimes when the mood didn't but that is what you get with Andrew! He always tries to make better a difficult situation. He does this not because he has to, but because he wants to. Because that is just what you do.

I met Andrew in college, and frighteningly enough, have now known him half of my life. Way back when at the time we met, I could not have imagined that his easy-going, humor-filled, lighthearted, generous manner would be so important during a tumultuous few years. He balances my seriousness with laughter. He tries to make things fun even when it is hard to see that opportunity is there. He brings light in when I am sometimes inclined to block it out. He just does what it takes, whatever that might be.

We are coming off a media circus with Tiger Wood's ridiculously named "historic comeback" at the Master's. I was so happy to see Mickelson come out with the win. He played a great round of golf yesterday when it mattered, but that isn't necessarily the story. He, too, has had a personally trying year that wasn't the result of some really poor and selfish choices, and Mickelson deserved a lot of the attention that was, in my opinion, misdirected elsewhere. Rick Reilly of ESPN wrote a great story about Mickelson and his family, and what they've gone through. Take a minute if you read it. Rick Reilly: A Win Beyond Golf. He tells of his support for his wife and his mother and his children. And a little bit about winning his third green jacket. He writes that it was a win for women, which may be true, but it is also a win for the guys who work hard at just being decent guys every day.

I am happy to say one of those guys is my husband, who may be horrified that I wrote this, but he is deserving of some thanks. I'm sure he'll learn to live with the resulting fame! So, thank you, Andrew. I know I can't say it enough.

Be good. Be strong.

Day 12, 12 Days

2010-04-07T18:28:00.006-04:00

Still haven't run. 12 days since my last run. 12 days until I HAVE to run. Until I need to be ready to run. Until I really want to get out there and run. I am on the mend, but really getting anxious with the "not running" business. Days are passing by, and I feel like I am letting fitness slip away! I know it is not entirely the case, but after months of training, the current situation is a little nerve racking. Not packing on 10 pounds while "resting" is almost as hard as the not running part!

I've been keeping active by biking, and this week I added the elliptical trainer and for the first time ever, I did some aqua jogging. There are the special belts you wear in the pool that keep you upright, and you run just like you would if your feet were touching the ground. It was a pretty good workout and really kind of relaxing in a weird, running while in a pool kind of way! You just slowly move around the pool with your arms and legs doing exactly what they would do if you were on the ground. Just no impact. No stress on the strained muscle, and some good exercise to boot. I'll definitely keep doing that as a cross-training/non-impact workout. And maybe try to swim. I never got around to adding that in this time. Oh, well.

I also got into today to see a physical therapist friend who is going to help me get to the starting line WELL. She doesn't think it will be a problem, and I am a believer, too. While my leg feels much better after the past week or so of modified rest, I am going to keep from running for a bit longer just to be safe. I really, really, really don't want to reinjure it now. While mentally it is causing much anxiety, I know it is the right thing to do if I want to finish on April 19.

So I am waiting, not so patiently, to get back out there and remind my legs what running feels like. I am also starting the weather watch to obsess over what the day might bring. I have no control, I know. The way weather works around here, we won't know for sure what the day will be like until that morning. I'm also starting to prepare and gather the goods I need for marathon Monday. I will put my name on my singlet, and add the names you have all shared to the back. Get some safety pins for my number. Some extra bottles of water and Gatorade. Body Glide. Extra socks. Jelly beans for sugar. Dry socks. A baseball hat. A winter hat. Some gloves. Directions to where I need to be before the start. Blistex. "Throwaway" clothes for the start in case it is cold. A change of clothes for the finish. Oh, and probably some ibuprofen for after. Probably a few more other items. And enough inspiration to push me from mile 1 to 26.2.

Countdown is on

2010-04-03T18:38:00.003-04:00

It's April. It's April? Really?? It's so hard to believe that spring is here and the marathon is upon us. Six months ago I was wrestling with the decision about whether to apply to run for Dana-Farber again, and worried about the months of training that would be ahead of me. I couldn't not do it this year after the events leading up to now. Not only am I so glad that I am a member of the team this year, but I am so happy to say that the training months have gone by pretty quickly. With the marathon only 16 days away, and the beautiful weather outside, it's hard to remember the cold, snowy runs of the winter. Maybe it is a little like childbirth in that you quickly forget the tough parts about it, or maybe my body remembers what it is supposed to be doing a little better after running last year. Whatever the reason, I am through the long runs and tapering down to Marathon Monday.

Last Saturday was my final "long" training run of the program leading up to the marathon, my third and final 20 mile run. I went in to Boston to run with the DFMC team and got all 20 miles in on part of the course. The downside is that a muscle pull from a run earlier in the week was made worse by running that distance. I hadn't though much about the tightness I had experienced while running on Thursday and it went away without further bother. Friday and Saturday morning I felt fine, and so I headed out to run the final big run of the Boston training season. About 9 miles in, the tightness returned, but wasn't anything that made me feel I couldn't continue. It was more a nuisance than painful. However, my lower leg ended up bruising and swelling a little bit after I got home, and I haven't run since then! Yikes! 16 days to go and I am not running at all! I've been biking all week and that doesn't bother my leg at all. I'm just trying to keep the cardio going this week, and will probably wait another few days and then try to get out for a few miles. I ran a few blocks after my children today and there was no pain, but I want to be sure that I don't re-injure it and not being able to run the marathon at all. Expert advice says the gas is already in the tank from the 20+ weeks of training, and I am better off letting this heal so I am fully ready to run on April 19. With the pouring rain earlier this week, it was easy to hunker down and not miss running, but as the weather has improved, I wish I could get out there! I may have to abandon my expectations for the finishing time, but I know that I will finish.

In other exciting news, the grand total for the 80's benefit was $3,685. Really unbelievable. Added to the donations that have already been made and some that I recently sent in, my fundraising total is now $16,630. Yes, that is correct...$16,630!! There has been such a phenomenal effort to support this run this year.

It's so inspiring and motivating to hear from so many people who also have stories to share or support to lend. I feel like I am not only representing Dana-Farber but so many families and friends who believe this to be important. I honored to be entrusted to carry the names of so many people with me to recognize and remember how cancer has affected so many lives. This list of names that keeps growing is made up of children and adults, men and women, moms and dads, cousins, sisters, aunts, best friends, childhood buddies, old teammates, teachers, coworkers. People diagnosed with liver cancer, brain cancer, lung cancer, breast cancer, skin cancer, lymphoma. The list goes on. But the song remains the same. It doesn't matter who it is or what the diagnosis. There needs to be a cure. One step at at time, and we'll get there.

Thank you for supporting this cause. For supporting my family near and far. And for supporting me. I am so proud of what "Team Jennie" has accomplished this year. This isn't just about one runner. Or even 500 runners. It's about the people who help get us to the starting line and beyond. This has truly been a team effort. Thanks for being along for the run. I think we are just getting started.

Cowboy Up

2010-03-26T09:02:00.005-04:00

A few weeks ago an article in the Boston Globe caught my eye. I cut it out and have had it sitting on our counter for a few weeks, and I've been thinking about it a lot. It is about "Cowboy Ethics" and stems from a book by James Owen entitled "Cowboy Ethics: What Wall Street Can Learn from the Code of the West." The Wyoming Legislature recently passed a bill instilling this code into state law. While only symbolic with no criminal penalties, it is meant to serve as a reminder of how people should act towards each other.

The Ten Principles of the code are:
1. Live each day with courage
2. Take pride in your work
3. Always finish what you start
4. Do what has to be done
5. Be tough, but fair
6. When you make a promise, keep it
7. Ride for the brand
8. Talk less and say more
9. Remember that some things aren't for sale
10. Know where to draw the line

It all sounds simple enough. But to be loyal, to live with courage, to know the value of friendships, to keep your promises? That takes work, even in the best of times. It's not an easy creed by which to live. No one is perfect (although my 6 year old daughter announced last night at dinner that she is pretty close while the rest of us are struggling). It's always good to be given a reminder like this of what is important, and to let the junk just go. Shoot-outs in the town square are no longer the status quo, so just moving on from the junk is probably the better alternative. Seek out those who embody what you believe to be significant, and learn from them. Kindness. Humor. Consideration. Authenticity. Imagination. Fidelity. Truth. Empathy. Respect. Insert your favorite cowboy quality here. Embrace all those cowboys and cowgirls around you. They are onto something with this code.

Be good. Be strong.

It's a Hilly Ride

2010-03-24T07:59:00.006-04:00

You've all heard it before. Life is filled with ups and downs, cycling between highs and lows, some good days and some not as good. The experience of running the marathon for Dana-Farber is much the same, filled with some long uphill climbs and some easy rides down when you can sit back and enjoy the view.

One of the best “miles” of the training experience has been the success of last Friday's 80's benefit party for Dana-Farber. Not only was the fundraising aspect a hit with over $3000 contributed to fund cancer research at Dana-Farber, but a great community of friends came together to have fun while also supporting this important cause. Everyone truly embraced the 80's theme. There was a lot of laughing, some serious singing, and even a little break dancing. Local stores experienced a run on blue eyeshadow, and scarily enough, 80’s attire is currently readily available again in stores. Be forewarned: leg warmers are primed to make a comeback. The hits of the decade brought us onto the dance floor. Mullets and big hair shared the spotlight with turned up collars and alligator shirts. We saw representatives from the hair bands of the 80’s and people who jumped right off the pages of the Preppy Handbook. Thankfully, the many groups were able to peacefully co-exist all in the name of charity and there was no need to take it out back after the dance!

It was a great success all around. I am so thankful for the generosity given to the marathon challenge program, but maybe a little more grateful for the examples of kindness and friendship to which I was witness. I am continuously amazed by the selflessness and generosity that has been shown by our community, and am incredibly humbled to have had the opportunity to share this experience with such good, kind people. There are not words that I can come up with express my sincerest thanks to "Team Jennie" and everyone who supported this event.

In the midst of all this crazy fun, however, have been some tough days that are vivid reminders of why I am running. These are the uphills that pop up just when you think you are cruising along at a steady pace. Anniversaries and birthdays seem to be the steepest of the hills, and today is another of those kinds of days. Today is Molly’s 39^th birthday. There is no doubt that I would have already talked to her this morning, and would have spoken to her another couple of times as the day went on. Maybe we would have talked about her birthday but probably more about report cards and weather and funny kid stories and what we were making for dinner and the really funny pictures from Friday night. It’s those conversations that I miss the most, and I think about them every day. She would have loved to be here on Friday with Mom and Katy and Mary, dressed up and dancing the night away with the girls.

This experience is one that can so be so uplifting and gratifying, but when I take a moment to think about the reasons why I chose Dana-Farber to represent, it is also heartbreaking. I know the hills will continue to pop up, but I also know there will be some flat stretches along the way, too. And maybe those hills will eventually feel less steep. We’ll get up over the hill today, and hope that there isn’t another one right behind it. We try to remember to coast when the day is good and enjoy the easy downhills. And when we are faced by the big ones, just drive those knees and get up and over that hill one step after another. There is always another ride down on the other side.

Thank you, thank you "Team Jennie" for everything.

Be good. Be strong. And today, for Molly, be sweet.

Catching up

2010-03-12T11:16:00.005-05:00

Days until marathon: 35

5 weeks from today, I will be eating my pre-marathon breakfast getting ready to head to Hopkinton for the start of the 2010 Boston Marathon. It's really been a pretty quick ride overall. I hope the weather is better than it has been this weekend. The amount of rain that has fallen since Saturday is unbelievable! It's still pouring this morning, with a very gusty 40 mile an hour wind blowing. All of this rain should make for some green, green grass and lots of spring flowers. For some reason, the "Spring Forward" time change has had the opposite effect on me, and I am enjoying the peace and quiet of a dark house this morning.

With all that has been going on outside of training for the marathon, I've been somewhat negligent recently about updating my training so I thought I'd take a few minutes to do that. I've figured out that I have run about 500 miles since October in preparation for April 19, and while that number seems big, I still worry that it might not be enough! I've completed TWO 20-mile runs so far, so I have one more really long run to finish the weekend of March 27. The runs went pretty well. Pace was decent, and I was less sore after the second run than the first, which means the training is helping! I have been pretty good about continuing to go to yoga class each week, and staying on top of riding the bike, too. The running group I am a part of at the local Y has gone back to 2 days a week, and I feel like the winter training with the group has been incredibly beneficial. No major injuries to report. Only some off and on tightness in my right hip area. Stretch, stretch, stretch. I just bought my third pair of running shoes, and these will be the pair that make the 26.2 mile trek on Marathon Monday. Just plugging along, checking off the days and weeks of the training program.

As far as fundraising goes, my expectations for this year have been blown away, and continue to rise. So far, 94 different people have contributed $10,950 to Dana-Farber to fund cancer research. You all have asked me to honor and remember 118 people who have been diagnosed with cancer, and I will wear their names on my Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge singlet with pride on race day. Because of overwhelming generosity and support, I have decided to increase my overall goal to $14,610. That is $4 more than the money raised last year. In all honesty, I really didn't believe that it would be possible to top that. Because of all of you, we are getting close. And for every dollar raised, closer to a cure.

The past few weeks have been emotionally trying with anniversaries and birthdays and scans and doctors appointments. There is still yet another difficult day in that Molly's birthday is next week, but I am buoyed by the energy surrounding this endeavor. Mary had stable scans last week. The 80's party is set to roll on Friday night. I will see some of my family this week. The rain will end and the sun will shine. Winter is slowly ending it's hold, and spring is coming. I keep putting one foot in front of the other, literally and figuratively, and we get through today and onto tomorrow.

Many, many thanks for your support.

Be good. Be strong.

A Blessing for John

2010-03-10T12:28:00.006-05:00

Today is my brother John's birthday. It is the first birthday since he died last May, and it's been a much harder day than I thought it would be. It's just all so real today, and we are all truly feeling his absence.

My Dad shared this blessing with us today in honor of John's birthday because so much of it reminded Dad of John. It's a beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul.

My wish for you
I wish you not a path devoid of clouds, nor a life on a bed of roses,
Not that you might never need regret,
nor that you should never feel pain.
No, that is not my wish for you.
My wish for you is:
That you might be brave in times of trial,
when others lay crosses upon your shoulders.
When mountains must be climbed and chasms are to be crossed,
When hope can scarce shine through.
That every gift God gave you might grow with you
and let you give your gift of joy to all who care for you.
That you may always have a friend who is worth that name,
whom you can trust and who helps you in times of sadness,
Who will defy the storms of daily life at your side.
One more wish I have for you:
That in every hour of joy and pain you may feel God close to you.
This is my wish for you and for all who care for you.
This is my hope for you now and forever.

-- anonymous Irish blessing

Be good. Be strong.

Feel the warmth!

2010-03-07T07:43:00.003-05:00

It happened. That first day when you start to realize that the winter will, in fact, be coming to end! Yesterday, the temperature got up into the 50's. The sun was shining and the blue sky was clear. The neighbors came flowing out of the house. Bikes were ridden. Sticks and sand were swept from the streets. The roads were crowded with walkers and runners. Friends had lunch on their deck. Kids slept long and hard after a day of running outside and inhaling the fresh air. There were even some convertible tops down and a sunroof might have been opened. Some people had on shorts. Moods were a bit lighter. Smiles came a little easier. We appreciated it and soaked every minute of it up. It was our first sign that spring will be here, eventually. Probably not this week, or even this month. But it is close.

Days like today are my favorite part of winter....the reminder that it is almost over and that no matter how long it feels, spring follows winter every year! Don't pack up the winter gear yet, but get out there and enjoy it while we have it!

Get your 80's On

2010-03-05T15:40:00.003-05:00

In a whirlwind of planning the last couple of weeks, some very lovely ladies and friends here in Marblehead have put together an 80's-themed party to help raise money for my run for the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge. The event is scheduled for March 19 at the Gerry 5 here in town for anyone that is interested in joining the fun. They'll be music, food, a cash bar, a bunch of great opportunity drawings, and prizes for the best 80's attire. Tickets are $30/person, $50/couple in advance, or $60/couple at the door. All of the proceeds will go directly to fund cancer research at Dana-Farber. With the help of the kindness of many local stores and vendors (of whom will be recognized once everything is final) and of these terrific friends, it will be meaningful and fun night . If you are interested in coming, please let me know and we'll get you the details! My email address is jfsheridan9@gmail.com

As this event has gotten rolling, and I've seen the generosity and kindness of so many people again, I have been reminded of one of the biggest lessons I have learned throughout the past year...the importance of community. Neither my husband and I are from this area, nor do we have any family within 900 miles. Picking a town to put down some roots in the Boston area was almost like throwing a dart at a map. There were factors such as schools or commute that played into the decision, but it mostly came down to what looked nice and what we could afford. We didn't know a single person when we moved to the Swampscott/Marblehead area 10 years ago, and we are lucky to say that we have been so overwhelmed and pleasantly surprised by the strength of the community in which we decided to live. People move around so often nowadays, and many people don't live near "home" anymore. If you are a "transplant" it becomes so important that your friends and neighbors and teachers and classmates and teammates become your extended family and your support when your family can't be there. And that you help take care of each other. We've been the beneficiaries of this support as we navigated through the past couple of years, and are so thankful that we landed where we did 10 years ago.

This event that has been planned is a prime example of the strength of this community. Without a second thought, these women, who I first met because our children have gone to school together, got this ball rolling because they just wanted to help. To do something to make this fundraising effort a success this year. When I decided to run the marathon last year, I set my goal at $7500 and I thought that might be a long shot. Asking people to donate isn't easy, so I only approached people I knew well. It turns out that many of those kind people then asked others to contribute, who asked others, and so on. When it was all said and done, the total amount raised last year was just over $14,000. It was unbelievable. And this year, not only have people been sharing the story of this run, but these great people have planned an event to help raise even more money for this cause that is so important to me and my family. I am so appreciative of the generosity that has been shown in support of this endeavor the past couple of years, and really looking forward to March 19. This benefit party is such a great opportunity for our friends and neighbors and families to get together to have a great time, and to appreciate this community that has been so kind to us. I hope you can join us!

Many thanks to Kate McSherry, Kim Malary, Liz Scroope, Kathy Doody, Allison Burke, Dana Rieckelman, Heidi Clough, Lynn Brennan, and Jen Finnigan for putting this all together. Ya'll are good people!!

Anniversary

2010-02-24T15:47:00.005-05:00

an·ni·ver·sa·ry

1.the yearly recurrence of the date of a past event

2.the celebration or commemoration of such a date

Anniversaries mark the "big" days, the important events, the life-changing moments in our lives. Tomorrow marks two years since my sister, Molly, died as a result of a brain tumor at the age of 36. While this isn't the kind of anniversary that I consider a celebration, it is certainly one that has changed my life. There is a big empty space in the world without her here that can not, nor will not, be filled. Her life and presence was incomparable, as was the manner in which she chose to live.

Knowing Molly and being her sister has been a gift in my life. It is the reason why I feel this anniversary shouldn't pass each year without recognizing it in some way. My sister had a very easy, open way about her. It was evident from the outset when you saw the smile she shared so openly and naturally. She was exemplified kindness. Molly was authentic and true, and believed that no one should be anything more than themselves. She encouraged us all, especially her kids, to take risks and to have fun and to play hard and well. She didn't live by the clock. Molly always tried to see the bright side, the good side, the fun side. And she wore red cowboy boots. Sitting here and re-reading these qualities that I attribute to her, I see that these are the things I admire the most. The qualities that aren't as natural to me....the ones I have to work a little harder on. Trying to emulate these qualities is how I hope I can honor her life, and keep a piece of her alive every day. To commemorate this so-called anniversary.

Cheers to you, Molly. I miss you every day.

Seriously?

2010-02-09T17:51:00.007-05:00

As if there needed to be another reason to run this marathon. This week, my husband's first cousin was diagnosed with what they believe to be lymphoma. What they know is that it is cancer. He is undergoing tests this week and next to find out what type. He's 6 years younger than we are (in his early 30s) and is married with two very young children. What was believed to be chronic sinus infections has turned out to be cancer. Last week at this time, he was going about his life as usual. Probably waiting for a prescription for antibiotics or some simple fix to a nagging illness. Now his vocabulary includes words like biopsy, chemotherapy, treatment plan, stage, CT, and bone marrow. And those are the easy words to pronounce. In the span of one short week, the world has become a different place. Really, the change comes down to a matter of moments. Before diagnosis and after. Then you have your new "normal."

Getting out for training runs this week has been an easy choice. Runners are often encouraged to have a mantra or a phrase that they can repeat while they are running, often during times when you'd like to pack it in and walk off. Mine has been "you don't get to quit" which I chant in my head over and over, especially while going up hills. It is reminder that running is a choice. Getting treatment for cancer isn't a choice. You really don't have the option to quit. My sister, Mary, is tolerating a treatment right now that is terribly painful and exhausting. She takes this medication every single day, and she doesn't get to quit. My husband's cousin....he doesn't get to quit either. My brother, John, and sister, Molly. They never quit. Ever. This is what I think about at mile 16. And 20. And 26. And sometimes even at mile 3.

I run because I don't want to hear about any more reasons to run.

Choices

2010-02-01T18:36:00.004-05:00

“Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can't prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you're presented with and moving on. No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something. You always have a choice and the choice can be power.” ~Blaine Lee

Since the fall, I've been trying to make it to a yoga class once a week. I started going to one here in town on Monday mornings that I really like and really benefit from. I feel like it helps me start the week on a calm and energized note. I can clear my head from the weekend, and start anew each week. Our teacher usually begins each class with an inspirational quote, and the one above from Blaine Lee was the one he read to us this morning. I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. I just feel like it rings true to my life. I guess it's true to anyone's life. We always have a choice. I choose power. I choose fighting back. I choose not giving up and not giving in. I choose to do something.

Training update:
Monday: yoga
Tuesday: Running group (hill repeats and circuit training)
Wednesday: Bike
Thursday: 16 miles (got my long run in before the temps dropped to single digits....brrr)!
Friday: Rest
Saturday: Bike
Sunday: 6.25 miles on treadmill (less than planned but had a hard time settling in)

Rain, rain-SNOW away!

2010-01-25T16:56:00.002-05:00

We are getting a pounding rain storm today with warm temperatures close to 50 degrees. The end result is that a lot of the snow and ice is melting away! The past month or so has been rough running outside because the roads have been narrow due to the snow banks and also very slippery. It will be nice to have a few days to get out and run with a little extra space on the street.

Another decent week of running is in the books. I been getting a lot of use out of my running gadget that I got for Christmas...a Garmin GPS watch that tells me pace, distance, time, etc. It's been a big help for me on my runs when I am trying to push the pace a little bit. I used to just try to base how fast I was going by how I felt (which was usually bad when I was going faster than normal), but now I actually know exactly what my pace is. I can adjust accordingly and can complete the workouts in the manner it was intended. I also got to share my weekly long run with a good friend, which is always a treat. She ran 7 of the 10 miles with me. Having the opportunity to catch up with her makes the time go by much quickly than when I am on my own.

Mon: Biking and yoga
Tues: Y Running group-drills and then rowing machine intervals in between treadmill intervals
Wed: 45 min. bike and strength
Thurs: 7 miles (middle 3 miles at tempo pace)
Fri: off
Sat: 10 miles
Sun: 3.5 miles

I've got 16 miles staring me in the face for my long run this week. Fingers crossed for some sun and non-freezing temperatures! Twelve weeks from today, I will be home (hopefully!!) eating 26 miles worth of calories of good food! The weeks are flying by!

Be good. Be strong.

Perspective

2010-01-20T10:52:00.007-05:00

Every year in the fall when the temperature starts to drop, my view of what is considered a beautiful day starts to become altered. After the summer, when we are in the midst of beautiful fall days, a sudden change to 45 degrees feels frigid and horrible. However, when the calendar rolls around to January and there has been snow on the ground for weeks and weeks and temperatures haven't gotten above freezing very often, a sunny, 45-degree day feels like summer! We were lucky enough to have one of those days on Saturday, and I tried to take full advantage of it by getting out and taking my long run. Dare I say, there were times when the wind was behind me that I actually felt warm. And this was with no hat or gloves or jacket! There were a ton of people out walking and running and biking, and enjoying the "warm" day. I thought that if maybe we could just have one of those kinds of days every couple of weeks during the winter, the weather might be a little easier to take. Or would we just get used to having those days and begin to expect that as the norm? And when something becomes the norm, do you stop noticing just how special it is? It's all in how you look at it, right?

Perspective is a funny thing. It is influenced by life experiences and age and hunger and education and geography and how many hours of sleep you got last night and varying levels of information (both true and false) and so many other factors. And it is different for every single person. Just this week, we've seen the devastation in Haiti which absolutely alters your perception of your life and your needs. We've seen a surprising outcome to the senate election here in Massachusetts, possibly because the population originally perceived the expected conclusion to be a no-brainer based on the historical voting history of this state. These results will likely change the way future races are managed here, to say the least! Last week, I spent some time with my parents trying to settle some family matters that have been pretty stressful for all of us. My dad reminded us to just remember what we have been through, and that this situation, while difficult, is nothing compared to what else we've been through. Or more simply, instead of complaining about the cold, we are often reminded by the locals up here to embrace the winter and to take advantage of the fun stuff the season brings. And so we've been ice skating and sledding and skiing and building snowmen (and having fun!) instead of watching the days pass from the window of our house! Sometimes, we just need a little reminder to look at things from a different perspective. To appreciate the sunny day. To be grateful for shelter and water. To be thankful for the right to express our voice through voting. To know that we have strength because we've used it before. Often, a change of perspective is all the change we need..

Onto my training.....here's my last full week. I was out of town for a few days, so I missed a workout or two, but my runs were good. While there are still 13 weeks of training to go, I only have 6 weeks where my long run will be a distance greater than 14 miles. To me, that is a much more manageable way to face the 13 remaining weeks of training. It's all about perspective, right???

Monday: Yoga class, 3 mile run

Tuesday: Running group (drills, circuit training in gym and on treadmill)

Wednesday: Travel/rest

Thursday: 4.5 mile tempo run

Friday: Cross-training (walk, stretching)

Saturday: 14 mile run

Sunday: rest

Be good. Be strong.

Week in Review

2010-01-11T11:27:00.002-05:00

The training week went pretty much as planned. I got to use some of my new Christmas gifts, too. I got a Garmin watch, which tracks distance, time, pace, etc. It's been a fun little toy to use. I like having the flexibility to change my route around a little while I am out there running. I also haven't been as obsessive about watching my pace as I thought I might! I am looking forward to learning all about all the bells and whistles on it! I also got a new Fuel Belt to hold water/Gatorade. It holds four small bottles instead of one large bottle, and I found that it was much more comfortable for me than the single bottle belt that I used to have. The new one doesn't bounce around as much, and doesn't feel as heavy. I also shifted my long run to Thursday because we went out of town for the weekend, and that worked out well. I ended up with two days off in a row, which isn't my preference, but it worked okay. My legs need the break!

Monday: stationary bike
Tuesday: Running class (warmed up with drills and then did 5 repeats of the following circuit: 400 meters on treadmill at 5K pace, 30 medicine ball squats/throws, and 30 step-ups). I did some light running on the treadmill, too. The 150 squats with the medicine ball did a number on my quads!
Wednesday: stationary bike
Thursday: 13 miles (slower than I had hoped, but my legs were still fried from Tuesday)
Friday: rest
Saturday: rest
Sunday: 6 miles on treadmill (2 miles easy, 3 miles at tempo pace, 1 mile easy)

The big news out of Dana-Farber this week was that Valerie Bertinelli will be running as a member of the team this year. Her participation should bring some attention and raise some additional awareness about the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge.

Be good. Be strong.

Looking ahead

2010-01-03T07:55:00.013-05:00

It is a very snowy Sunday morning here, and I am sitting here looking at the window while enjoying a cup of coffee. We are settling back into our family routines after a very special and happy visit with family. We all had a great week filled with a lot of laughs. I am so grateful for my family, and proud of the strength of our bond. Our parents always taught us from a very young age that we are to take care of each other, and protect each other, and to always stick together. There was a time when this meant we had each others back on the soccer field or if someone was mean on the playground, but it is a lesson that has continued on into adulthood. We still have each others backs, and pick each other up when we are down. We've stuck it out the past few years, and I believe we have come though stronger as a family. Having the perspective we have allows us the time to truly relish the fun we have together. This year it was a treat to be able to celebrate the holidays together.

My thinking has been all over the place this morning, and I originally started to write this post about how happy I was that this past decade was over, and was prepared to take some time to complain about the difficulties and sadness. Despite some very happy times, the year 2000 was the year that cancer began to invade our family and the past 10 years have been long. I couldn't come up with much more to say than the past 10 years were junk, so I abandoned that idea. I kept coming back to what the future holds instead, and focusing on moving forward from where we are now. There are so many stories of people who have had experiences such as ours that have changed their lives. How do we take our experiences and make changes for the better? For me, right now, it is running a marathon to raise money for cancer research. I am sure that when the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge started 25 years ago, they had no idea that this group would become the largest charity represented in the Boston Marathon each year, providing over $4 million dollars last year along directly to cutting edge cancer research. I don't know what changes the future will hold, but I hope it will be more. That I will be able to do more to make a difference.

As far as training goes, I've had an up and down couple of weeks. On Christmas Eve, I pulled something in my hip trying to, of all things, jump onto a step. That was definitely an impressive showing of agility and strength! As a I missed the weekend long run and rested for a few days until the pain was gone. I got in a couple of rides on the stationary bike, and did a 5 mile run on the treadmill with no pain. I also managed to ice skate and bowl without any further injury, and am chalking both of those activities up to cross-training workouts! On Friday, I got an 11 mile run in before the snow (it's been falling for 36 hours so far). That was supposed to be the long run last weekend, and this weekend was to be a "step-back" run of 8 miles, but I reworked it due to "injury." My hip feels fine, but my knee hurts now. I think it is just tired, so my training should be back on schedule this week. It looks like there will be more inside runs than I'd like due to weather, but it is better than nothing!

I am almost halfway to my fundraising goal of $8500 with $3800 contributed so far. Your kindness and generosity is very much appreciated.

Wishing you a very happy and healthy 2010!
Be good. Be strong.

Do you BELIEVE??

2009-12-24T15:54:00.004-05:00

Sending out wishes for a very Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy New Year! Thanks to you all for the continued support and encouragement in this endeavor, and every day. I am so appreciative of the opportunity to be a member of the Dana-Farber team again this year, and I believe the efforts of all of the Dana-Farber team members are getting us closer to a cure for cancer. Believing and hoping are such prominent messages during the Christmas season, and are also the messages that get me out there running. I believe and I hope for a cure. Do you?

My best to you all.
Be good. Be strong.

One week down, how many to go??

2009-12-20T09:33:00.005-05:00

Week One of Training:

I got through week one of training after a slow start. I didn't do anything on Monday due to some time constraints. Nothing like kicking off an 18 week plan with a big empty spot on my log, but the rest of the week went as planned.
I ran 5.5-6 miles outside on Tuesday with hill repeats in the middle. It was "nice" outside with temperatures close to 40, so I took advantage of the opportunity to enjoy the great outdoors. I missed the group at the Y due to torturing my kids at the dentist that morning (upside was no cavities!!), so I was on my own to get in a good workout. I knew they were doing hills, and after much internal deliberation, I went ahead with a hill workout. It probably wasn't as hard as the group run, but it was tougher than I would normally do on my own!
Wednesday was cross-training with a ride on the stationary bike for 45 minutes.
Thursday was running group at the Y. We stayed inside because it was 14 degrees with 25 mile an hour winds. We did drills in the gymnasium to warm up and then 4 repeats of 800 meters at 5k pace/21 kettle bell swings/5 pull-ups, followed by a slow pace cool-down on the treadmill. The kettle bells and pull-ups beat me up! I am not used to doing much strength training AT ALL, although it is part of my goal for training this year. As a result, I have been feeling the pain when I cough or get dressed or try to pull the blanket up to go to bed! The last two days weren't pretty! The winter plan for the group drops us down to one day a week, but will include a lot of strength and drills, which I desperately need.
Friday was "rest" day which I spent running around like a crazy lady trying to get ready for Christmas and the arrival of family which may make up for the missed day on Monday! With only one more full day of school for my kids and a big snowstorm rolling in, I was inspired to try to get as much done as possible in the few hours I had free!
And Saturday, I did 10.75 miles around town, trying to beat the snow that started falling last night. I had planned on 10, but miscalculated the route before I went out. My long run next weekend is scheduled to be 11 miles, so I should be in pretty good shape to get that done. I had a good run averaging about 8:25 minutes/mile. If weather and time allows, I'll try to sneak in an easy 3-4 miles today on the treadmill or ride the bike. Or we may just bake cookies and eat them as quickly as they come out of the oven!! We've got a lot of snow on the ground right now (close to a foot), so hunkering down inside is looking like the winning plan.

I am looking forward to this week which brings the arrival of my family. We are all happy to have the opportunity to spend some time together for Christmas. This is the first year we will all be at my house for the holiday. I love having everyone around, and am so glad that we are able to pull it off this year. It's always good to be together. It's what the holiday season is all about.

Be good. Be strong.

So, what's the plan?

2009-12-09T18:45:00.017-05:00

I am a data/number person. I like to know what to expect, and I don’t like surprises. I like facts and concrete information. As it turns out, following a training program for a marathon (or any distance) is an especially fitting activity for me. I can plan exact distances, times, schedules, repeats, and paces. I log it all into a calendar, follow it, and monitor how the whole thing is going. It's all right there on paper, written down for me to track. While this planning doesn't always translate to the outcome I am looking for, it helps me prepare. Will it make me fast like Kara Goucher (as pictured). I bet not. But, it helps me get to the finish line! Most importantly for me is the mental preparation rather than physical. I can usually keep my legs moving as long as my brain is in it. I am much more easily defeated by too many negative thoughts than legs that won't move, and knowing what I am facing and how I have prepared to get to the end point makes it much less intimidating and much more doable. If I have a plan, I am pretty obsessive about following it, and as a result, I have some confidence that it will pay off in the end. I read magazines and books and online articles and emails. I talk to people and get their opinions about what works and what doesn't. I like whatever information I can get my hands on. I read, and go back and re-read again. Often more than twice. There is so much information out there, and it opens my eyes to new ideas and new plans. What to eat. How to be safe. What to wear. How fast to run around the track. How to run better up a hill. Good manners. What not to eat! This is not to say that a lot of it doesn't go in one ear and out the other, and there is certainly a lot of stuff I hope to follow, but don’t. But, I keep learning and over time adapt to what works best for me.

And so after training last year and running through until now, I will begin an 18 week marathon training program on Monday. I've put together a program that I believe works best for me, and what I think will help me cover the distance in April. I've taken parts of a few training programs and put them together to fit what works for me. The long run plan is by Hal Higdon, the addition of cross training is from the FIRST program out of the Furman Institute for Running, and the weekly runs are from Jack Fultz, the training advisor for Dana-Farber. My plan will be to run between 25 and 40 miles a week with 2 days of yoga/strength training and two days of cross training. I've found that not having consecutive days of running (broken up by the cross training) keeps me a little more motivated and prevents running burn out. One of my weekly runs will be at the mercy of Dennis Floyd, the coach for the Y Endurance group I have been running with and will cover the speed work included in my plan. Cross training for me is usually on the stationary bike although I would really like to add some lap swimming if I didn't feel completely intimidated by getting in the pool. I have added some stair climbing in an effort to strengthen my quads and hip flexors for the hills at the end of the Boston course, and am adding some other strength training in in hopes that it helps towards the end of the marathon when stopping to chat with the crowds becomes much more appealing than continuing to run. It's all printed and ready to go. Week 1 starts Monday. 126 days to the starting line in Hopkinton.

Be good. Be strong.

The Weather Outside is Frightful

2009-12-02T19:51:00.010-05:00

Well, not yet, but it is coming. Around our house, the weather is most commonly differentiated with the kids by little coat days (fleeces) and big coat days (parkas). We've had a very mild start to the cold season here, but starting this week, it is finally looking like we've made the permanent switch to "big coats" to great disappointment. With kids, the cold days are only fun if it is snowing. Much to my husband's chagrin, I have become "weather obsessed" since we've lived in the area. We've been in Massachusetts for 11 years, so one might think I've had time to get used to it (and get over it), but each year, I go through a little bit of a depression when the winter comes to stay. My blood is thin....I am a Southerner! As soon as the weather makes the final shift to winter, I keep on top of the daily temperature high and low, snowfall prediction, number of days since the temperature has gone above freezing, and just in case he was interested, I know what the weather is like in the places we used to live! So as the big coats came out of the closet, the winter weather watching began in earnest!

Another reminder of the impending winter weather came this evening during the monthly Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge team meeting. Each month, there is an organized meeting at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute during which a variety of topics pertaining to this program are covered. Often, the discussions contain a lot of logistical information about fundraising, group runs, or marathon weekend. At each meeting, they also try to have an expert come in to speak about a running related issue...nutrition, training, injury prevention, etc. This week, the expert was the owner of a local running store (and also a US National Marathon qualifier) who came to talk about all the gear you need for winter running. Nothing like this sort of information to remind you that the 20 degree days are right around the corner! There are many in this group that believe there is no bad weather, just bad clothing. While I feel that I have gotten pretty good at determining how many layers to wear in different temperatures having run through the winter last year, I am not fully on board with the idea of running in snow storms or while there are many inches of snow covering the roads. I am more likely to wait until the trusty snow plows make quick work of the local roads before heading outside to run. In addition to the many clothing options out there, they also told us about the footwear items out there to make "snow running" a little easier. There are special snow shoes specifically designed for running that are a little smaller than regular snow shoes which allows you to maintain a regular running stride. There are also YakTrax which fit over your running shoes, and use metal coils instead of spikes to give you additional traction in the snow. I've decided that instead of investing in these "interesting" technologies that would make trudging through snow easier, I am going to put my stock in the recent prediction of a local retired meteorologist who claims we will have less snowfall than normal for the area this winter. While normally I tend to be distrustful of the local weather predictions (I believe they try to sugarcoat the forecasts in order to keep from driving people to leave the area in droves during the winter), I am hoping beyond hope he is correct. Either way, you can be assured that if there is snow on the roads, you will find me on the treadmill pounding out the miles in my regular old running shoes!

Like the kids make the switch from big coat to little coat, I have begun to make the changes for running, too. The shorts have been moved to the back of the drawer and the pants/tights to the front. The lightweight baseball hats have been put away and the wool running caps have been rescued from the attic, just as with the big coats. Winter is here, ready or not!

Giving Thanks

2009-11-24T16:57:00.014-05:00

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~John F. Kennedy

This week of Thanksgiving stirs a lot of different thoughts and emotions. Thanksgiving Day is traditionally a time to gather with family and friends, and to consider all the gifts in our lives for which we are grateful. It's almost too unreal to consider what changes our family has gone through in the past few years. In having lost Molly and John to cancer since we were all together as a family for Thanksgiving just 2 short years ago and to still be struggling with Mary's ongoing issues, finding reasons to be thankful can sometimes be difficult. For me, experiencing these tragedies has forced me to be more appreciative and grateful for the little things in the life. I pay more attention to many things that might have gone unnoticed before. These life changing events push me to appreciate the tiny moments in our lives instead of just living for the big ones. It is all of these little things that make up most of our days, and in turn, the bulk of our lives. Letting them go by unnoticed allows so much to slip by unconsciously. I feel like there have been so many days where I just go through the motions, without really considering what I am doing or what is going on around me. I try now try to stop and be thankful for all of the daily things I do that I may feel like chores. Walking the kids to school in the rain. Going for a run. Making a quick run the grocery store every day. Cleaning the bathroom. Getting up before the sun. And to express gratitude for the "little things" that really are gifts in my life: like having coffee with a friend, or a telephone conversation with my family every day, a clear night for the full moon, or the kindness of our good friends, the laughter of my kids, or even to have the chance each year to complain about the winter. And so, I am thankful this week for many things, even as we learn to negotiate through so many life changes. We do so with heavy hearts as the holidays have been a time that we as a family hold so dearly. It would, however, be wrong to not have learned from the past and so we seek to find the gifts in our lives each day.

I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. Don't forget to stop and smell the turkey.

Be good. Be strong.

Remembering....

2009-11-14T15:28:00.009-05:00

Off to the right side of this blog page is information about the inclusion of the names of your friends and family members who have been diagnosed with cancer on my shirt on Marathon Monday. The beginning of the list of names for 2010 is also there, and has starting growing already. Participating in this marathon is about all of these people more than anything else. While carrying these names with me won't bring about the cure that we are seeking or bring back those we have lost to cancer, it is a small way to honor them and the energy and fight they have given or continue to give. It also allows all of the spectators along the 26.2 mile course to see why the members of the DFMC team are out there every year. It makes this journey personal and real for all of us. Please leave a comment here or send me a message if there is someone you would like to remember. This picture is from the shirt that I wore during last year's marathon. There was also a list of names of a other friends and family members that I carried in my pocket that were last minute additions, and I didn't get in time to have printed on the shirt. The new shirt won't be printed until the week before the marathon in April, so there is still plenty of time to let me know.

As far as the running goes, my 18-week training program doesn't start until December 14. I have been maintaining a long run of about 10 miles on the weekends for the past few months so when that day in December rolls around, I am ready to get started. I'll build my long runs slowly until 3 weeks before the marathon when I will do the last big run before tapering off.

Thanks for following along, and for your support. This week, there have been contributions of $975 to Dana-Farber in support of my participation. Humbling to say the least.

Be good. Be strong.

Wonder Woman turns 34

2009-11-10T17:01:00.004-05:00

Today is my sister's birthday. Today M (aka, Wonder Woman) turns 34, and she put her all into this past year as I know she will give to the coming year. She has been living strong with a melanoma diagnosis for the past 3 years despite tortuous treatments and surgeries, including a total hip replacement when melanoma was found in her hip bone. In spite of all she has been through, M has the most upbeat and outgoing personalities of anyone I know, and she just keeps on plugging away EVERY day. She still finds a way to put others first and to give so kindly to her family and friends, when she has every right to focus all of her energies on herself. Recently, she found out there were a couple of pesky lymph nodes in her hip that were found to have some of these nasty disease cells in them so she is, again, facing additional treatment and is trying to find the best option for her. This involves visiting no less than 5 treatment centers in 3 states, and sorting through mounds of information meant for people with medical degrees, but she is going strong and will make the right decision. So, I am wishing you, Mary, a very happy birthday, and a fabulous year to come. Thank you for the gifts of inspiration and strength. You are why I run.

It's Official

2009-10-30T17:40:00.007-04:00

So, there is no going back now! I am an official member of the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge team for the second year. Starting today, I have 5 months and 19 days to prepare myself to run 26.2, and to try to raise at least $8500 that will go directly to fund basic innovative cancer research at Dana-Farber. I am going to give this blog thing a try to keep people updated on my training and my progress, and to share any other random information that might be of interest! I've included information about the Barr Program, a link to my fundraising page, and a list of all of those in whose honor or memory I will run. Please feel free to share the names of any of your loved ones you would like to recognize.

My primary inspirations for joining this team are my siblings, Molly and John, who both lost their lives to brain tumors, and my sister, Mary, who lives each day with a diagnosis of melanoma. I am inspired by their strength and determination, and while I certainly wish our family was not affected in such a devastating way by this disease, I am grateful for the opportunity to run for them. It is a small way to honor them and everything they have been through.

I am going to call this initial post "complete." I don't want to share too much too soon, or bore anyone right out of the blocks! There is certainly more to come as we get closer to April 19.

As always, thanks for your support.
Be good. Be strong.